About Me

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Concord, California, United States
I am a sometimes-writer, everyday mama, creative failure and experimental cook. I am interested in living a beautiful life, spending time with my family and making things that I can feel proud of. When I'm by myself I'm usually outside. Don't bother calling because chances are that I didn't bring my cell phone because I couldn't find it. If you see me walking, it's because I lost my keys and if you see me with only one child... I'm probably in big trouble.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

babies eveywhere

I need to make some big changes.

I don't know what yet.

I am really struggling with this whole baby thing.

Like, REALLY struggling.

Sometimes I feel like people do not understand me. Or, my problems don't seem very big to them so they blow me off.

I'm just having a very tough time.

I can't adequately express how hard it is to want something so badly and then to see it happening to all the people around you and knowing that you'll never be the one. This is especially true because I'm totally able to still have children... I just have had to decide not to. Which hasn't been my decision at all. Emotionally, I'm just unable to deal with it.


  1. do you think you should see a could a counselor about it? or you and jay together? i can imagine that this would be hard. sorry, anna. if you need to talk, you know i'm here for you.

  2. i can relate to a point. i def. want to have a baby and i go through periods where i get really sad and feel that i will never have one bc i seem to be incapable of meeting someone and insert vicious cycle stuff here.

    with you, i do see it as a different struggle because you are physically and emotionally capable, however there are others feelings to consider and financial considerations to make. also, being reminded of pregnancy by being around pregnant friends is probably hard. i would try to think of them and how happy you are for them.

    i also agree that you and jay should def. talk and i always support counseling! good luck mama!