About Me

My photo
Concord, California, United States
I am a sometimes-writer, everyday mama, creative failure and experimental cook. I am interested in living a beautiful life, spending time with my family and making things that I can feel proud of. When I'm by myself I'm usually outside. Don't bother calling because chances are that I didn't bring my cell phone because I couldn't find it. If you see me walking, it's because I lost my keys and if you see me with only one child... I'm probably in big trouble.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Weekend Update

The lack of furniture and toys are really taking their toll on B and L. I'm afraid that our pets have become toys and this makes me crazy. I'm doing a lot of policing and a lot of crying. My stress level is so high that there's no oxygen to feed it.

I let Lila and Bunny take some notebooks and crayons to the back patio while I made dinner two nights ago. Lila's pants (as always) had scooted down and she ended up getting a bunch of nasty mosquito bites on her booty. Even though I know that these are mosquito bites... they look so much like bedbug bites. It's really messing with me. To make matters worse, they've really been bothering her. All the benadryl and hydrocortizone cream in the world couldn't help and she hysterically sobbed herself to sleep last night. Emotionally, I'm so exhausted and depressed, I don't have the energy to do much and fell asleep with the girls again last night. They both woke up screaming for me several times throughout the night.

Life is hard.

Luckily, Sherbert is home from the hospital and he seems okay.

Jay worked all morning and a lot of the afternoon yesterday. After he was done we took the car to be cleaned.We ended up taking the girls to a green space to just run around. We played hide and go seek and played around in the trees. We're taking them to the Please Touch Museum later this morning.

I feel no happiness.

Seriously, I just want to sit around crying all the time.

Things have to get better. They have to. They have to. They have to.

I was telling Jay that there'll never be a time in my life when I fail to appreciate simplicity again. Feeling safe and happy and comfortable in your home is now the most precious thing. I never realized how valuable it was until I lost it.

Oh, and our apartment company sent us a letter saying that they fully expect us to pay for a renewed lease but that as a courtesy they'll accept payment through Nov. 16th. And they sent a checklist of things that need to be done in the aparment with a list of what they'll charge if they are not done. Like, "Clean counters are $15." A clean kitchen is $200. I'd like to send them an itemized list for every belonging that we've lost and what I'm charging them to replace it. Bastards.


  1. Do it. They're bullying you. DO NOT BE BULLIED. Send them the itemized list and tell them if you do not receive compensation you will be speaking with your lawyer. Then find a friend, or a friend of a friend who is a lawyer. I bet that person would represent every tenant in the building. Put the heat on the landlords! YOU'RE the victim! YOU call the shots. NOT THEM. Get 'em!

  2. Hey Kim, we're working on putting something together. My parents are helping us. We'll definitely get a lawyer.

    I am NOT going to let them bully us. We have lost everything. I was so angry when I got that letter. We're faxing it to my parents tomorrow so that my dad can help us with a rebuttle.

    I am also calling the city to learn my rights. I am sure that bedbugs are a legal out to a lease.


  4. life is hard. i know how you feel, i have been there for other reasons =/

    do you know maslow's hierarchy of needs? basically there are five levels and in order to go from one to the next you need to have the needs of the previous level met. as i see it you are unable to move from psychological and safety because those needs aren't being met onto love, esteem and self-actualization. wiki does a good job explaining: