Bunny's recent woes (which are pretty much wee's now), have brought it to my attention that she has some real self-esteem issues. She's expressed to me that she's shy because she believes that if she tells people about the things that she likes that they'll ultimately reject her. She also feels less valuable than other people. For a child who lives in a loving house and has always been cared for, nurtured and supported... I just don't understand. I'm doing a couple of things. I am first, taking her to a holistic doctor to speak about pediatric depression. I emphasize the holistic part because there's no chance in Hell it's unlikely that I'd medicate Bunny.
One thing that Bunny has always wanted to do but that we've never honored is to attend a church regularly. She prays every day and speaks about God as a believer... which is sort of amazing considering that her father is an Atheist and her mother is a Me. She even feels sorry for us and lectures us about God. When she broke her arm the hospital paperwork-people asked if we have a preferred religion that we'd like for them to document in her file. When I said that we don't practice a religion Bunny corrected me and told him that she "believes in God."
Even though I don't know where I stand and Jay thinks that it's all a pack of lies and that we're teaching our child something false... I've decided to take Bunny to church. I think that she deserves something that is hers. She should be able to follow an interest that she has... even if it is different than what Jay and I believe. Further, there's nothing bad that can come out of going to church. I love communities and I received a recommendation about a church in Philadelphia that is warm, safe and seems good for people like me (read: people who aren't necessarily Christian but who aren't really anything else either... but for whatever reason need a church to go to).
The church is called Circle of Hope. I was speaking with one of the mom's at ICS about it. She said that several children at the school attend school there and recommended that we go to the 5 o'clock meeting on Sunday. There's a lot that happens for children at that meeting and she thought it would be a good way to get a feel for if this is a good fit for us.
I am so scared.
Anna, I think it's great that you're doing this for Bunny! You know where we stand on religion, but I've often been tempted to check out our local Unitarian Church - I really miss having a sense of community, and I think it would be a good place for us! Julia is suddenly very uncomfortable with the thought, though, so it may be on hold. Who knows what that's about!
ReplyDeleteI never thought of myself as a person who would attend church but I realized a big part of my stuggles with depression was an unchanneled need for faith. While I knew the Catholicism I was raised with wasn't my path I found a lot of solace in the Unitarian church.
ReplyDeleteNot only do they have a sense of community but the focus is not on "one true story" but on the various world religions and the common threads. I wish you best of luck with this endeavor and I am proud of you for helping her in this manner.
long time reader. first time commenter. lol.
ReplyDeletei think it's wise not to put bunny on meds. i was first diagnosed with mental illness when i was 5 or so and my parents always kept me off meds and instead had me going to therapy, being involved in extra-curricular stuff.
i think it's great that you're going to go to church with her. she's always liked it and you'll prolly both (all) get something out of it.
Hi Anna. I think you guys know a little bit of what I have believed, at least Jay would know because I remember we used to talk a bit about it. I've been a bit on the fence lately but I do have three nieces who go to church with their mommies, and one who is especially forming an identity around this despite her father being set against it. If you want to talk about it, please feel free to reach out. I feel like I have a unique perspective here as it relates to little girls growing up believing in this way.
ReplyDeleteChurch did some wonderful things for me as a kid. My parents took our whole family out of the Catholic church when we were in middle school because I was getting into fights with my Catechism teacher about what it says in the Bible. During middle school, when everyone is at their lowest point (self-esteem wise), I had this bizarre confidence and a great place to belong. It wasn't perfect but when I look back at it, I realize this is where I honed my musical ear, had opportunities to travel with a drama group, and all this stuff my parents couldn't really afford to give me otherwise. I can't say enough that even if I didn't still believe what I was taught or shown there, I still got about 1000% from whatever amount of time and energy I put in.
Bunny's convictions warm my heart. Girls are so passionate and that is one of their most awesome qualities! Kudos for taking steps to nurture this little voice and I hope you can find a way to boost her confidence more!!
Em
I think this is amazing. I am astounded that she is so devout with never going to church before!
ReplyDeleteLike you said, there's nothing truly bad that can come out of going to church - they are filled with caring people who believe in good things. It sounds like she's already a believer and I bet she - and you - will get more out of it than what you think.
Maybe she's the next Mother Teresa! :)
Kim, that last line made me chuckle!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone...!!!
I didn't go to church this Sunday with Bunny because we've been dealing with the whole bed bug crisis. That said, I WILL go with her next Sunday. I'm actually really looking forward to it.
Emily, I think it's interesting that you mentioned having good self esteem and attributing it to the church community. This is exactly the reason that I am open to taking Bunny. Honestly, everyone I know who grew up in a Christian community has this same self-esteem. Where does this come from?