About Me

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Concord, California, United States
I am a sometimes-writer, everyday mama, creative failure and experimental cook. I am interested in living a beautiful life, spending time with my family and making things that I can feel proud of. When I'm by myself I'm usually outside. Don't bother calling because chances are that I didn't bring my cell phone because I couldn't find it. If you see me walking, it's because I lost my keys and if you see me with only one child... I'm probably in big trouble.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The good thing about Jay...

... is that he's so level headed.

As time goes on, it becomes nicer and nicer to be married to someone who doesn't cry or shout all the time. Particularly because I cry pretty much every day over practically nothing.

Something really needs to happen with Bunny. Things are just awful. I mean, not at home. At home Bunny is wonderful. We have settled in from the upheaval of our lives. Our house has settled down, we have a bit of extra money coming in, new furniture, and most importantly, NO BEDBUGS!

As a disclaimer I should write that Jay and I made a huge attempt through all the craziness to keep the lives of our children sound and normal. Obviously, when you live for three weeks with no furniture outside of mattresses and card tables, things are a little weird. But, it can also be an adventure. So, through stress and tears, we tried to present it as an adventure.

I really thought that once our personal lives settled down that Bunny's school issues may resolve themselves. This saddens me because when there is a conflict between an adult and a child people are often very quick to blame the child and say, "it must be something else."

Now we know that it's not something else. Bunny remains terrified of her teacher. The thought of having to speak to her keeps her up at night. She's sick to her stomach and she cries. She strongly fears her teachers reactions to her questions and this fear prevents her growth in school. This, is of course, because her teacher screamed at her on the first day of school and she's never been able to shake the effect that it had on her.

Yesterday we got Bunny's progress report. It was bad. I guess that I really should be surprised. What did surprise me was that she was marked "N" for needs improvement in places that made Jay and my eyebrows raise. She was given comments that shocked us. We work with Bunny on her homework each night and see how well she reads and how she does her math homework so effortlessly. Yet, she was given the comments that she's struggling in both of the areas. I KNOW that this is because she's unable to focus at school. She's so scared of her teacher that she's unable to work around her. It's so sad.

The principal told me that they likely will not change the class... which is heartbreaking. She will need to speak with my levelheaded husband because I cry and make inflammatory statements that I later regret. That said, my daughter's health is being jeopardized because politically it would be hurtful to the teacher or her reputation or her feelings if they moved Bunny. I really resent that. Frankly, this has nothing to do with the teacher. Moving my child isn't a punishment to her. I'm sure that she's a fine person and a good teacher. But she's hurt my child and continuing to have Bunny in the class further hurts her progress and health. So, really, it's about Bunny. I don't need anything but for my daughter to be okay. That's all. And I don't think that's too much to ask for. And it's terrible because I love this school. Even with this happening I'm still recommending it. It just saddens me to see that they don't care about my child at all.

I feel so hopeless and unable to protect my child. How do I send her into a situation that is hurting her?

Suburbs and your good public schools... how I long for you.


  1. oh my. this totally stinks. i'm disappointed that the school isn't more willing to help, or have a conference with everyone.

    i'm really sorry this is happening.

  2. Hey, we are having a conference with everyone.

    Well, Jay is.

    Jay is really all they need. I will only harm the situation. I just get too emotionally sensitive. Jay is able to be our spokesperson.

  3. ps.

    The school counselor will also be present at the meeting.

  4. Even though she got a poor report, isn't the teacher able to see that her homework is in good shape?
    With Bunny this out of sorts during the class it upsets me that the teacher hasn't recommended this meeting prior to this.
    I would point out during this meeting that Bunny did very well last year in this school. I'm sending hugs to everyone.
    It's fine and good to be level-headed but there is no better advocate for your children than their parents. Have you looked into the set-up of the school? If you get no results from this meeting, they must have a board of ed or directors or something. You should go up the ladder which is what you're doing but that isn't necessarily the end of the line. Or inquire from the parents association if there is some sort of student advocacy available.

  5. A friend of mine suggested that we file a report with the board of education.

    I feel like that's a last resort though.

    It's a slippery slope. I really love this school and with this exception my children have had fantastic experiences there. I will make necessary waves because my daughter's self-worth is more important to me than any relationship that I could have with any person or institution, but I want to be very careful in being sure that they are necessary.

    It's possible that this can be resolved. Maybe her teacher didn't realize that it was such a problem. Maybe the urgency in my emails didn't translate onto paper which is why she didn't respond.

    I don't know...

    I dont' actually care how it is resolved, just so long as it happens soon.

    For instance, yesterday Bunny told me that her teacher used her paper as an example of good work and that this had never happened to her before. I noticed that she felt much better going to sleep (no tears) as well and here, before school, in the morning... no tears.

    I think that she thinks that her teacher just hates her and she fears this so much.

  6. ps.

    Yes, her teacher can definitely see that her homework is in good shape. We do her homework and then some... We do all the extra work and we read every night.

  7. i quote aesop rock 'some [hu]men can literally buckle under the same pressures others operate normally under' best to y'all, especially bunny

  8. I am sad, very. And extremly disappointed in the school but especially the teacher. It is her classroom and her students and it sounds like she is dropping the ball on this one. As the teacher she should be doing more to help Bunny. By doing more things like showing her good work as an example. She has to see what is going on, or at least listen to you and Jay. I hope it starts to get better.