About Me

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Concord, California, United States
I am a sometimes-writer, everyday mama, creative failure and experimental cook. I am interested in living a beautiful life, spending time with my family and making things that I can feel proud of. When I'm by myself I'm usually outside. Don't bother calling because chances are that I didn't bring my cell phone because I couldn't find it. If you see me walking, it's because I lost my keys and if you see me with only one child... I'm probably in big trouble.

Monday, November 29, 2010


My friend Tali gave me the most profound bit of insight via blog comment (in reference to the regrettable envy I have for my pregnant friends). She said something that opened my eyes and connected... while making me feel better too.

"I think it's not so much resentment Anna as grief. Granted I have never had something work it's way out my uterus but see a lot of women go through a grief process after they've drawn the line at how many babies to have. It's grief that you're not going to carry a baby again and that you won't have those experiences again. It feels a lot like jealousy and/or resentment but grief is often only associated with death so we don't always recognize it."

Everything about this comment resonates, but the part about grief being associated with death and therefor going unrecognized rings especially true.

After all... the death of a dream is something to grieve for. Even if you put it to rest knowingly, agreeably and honestly... still, you grieve.

...and that's what I'm doing.

So, be patient.


  1. sometimes people grieve for a looooooong time. be patient with yourself. it's ok (and when our tweens are slamming doors in our faces, we'll cry together and beg for more babies).

  2. hahaha...

    Our tweens? Bunny is already slamming doors. Though, Lila is normally the recipient of her anger.

  3. I am so happy it resonated for you. I generally don't give advice or observations when it comes to the parental realm as I am not a parent but recognizing those feelings as one's I have felt recently as part of grief, well I had to speak out a bit.