Dear Sherbert,
I know that you love me, so there's no need to continue bringing such elaborate gifts to my doorstep. Day after day you out due yourself and though I appreciate that you are a daring and brave warrior, please, save your energy to fight things like coyote and mountain lion. Or, if you ever see a fruit rat, I would support you in a quest to keep our home rat free.
And also, can you please get that crazy look off of your face. The whole world shouldn't be able to see your dark passenger so transparently.
With love and respect,
Anna Holler
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