Flood, Poop and mysterious black smoke

I had the weirdest day yesterday.

I woke up to a seemingly normal day and didn't initially suspect that any catastrophic, bizarre, environmental disturbances had zoomed in on my immediate life and chosen it as a target.

I was up for about 2 minutes when Jay texted me that the school had a 2 hour delay. I glanced out the window and into our backyard. Everything looked pretty much the same as it had the evening before. So I asked for what? He said, "ice and snow." Low and behold, when I walked to the front of our house and looked at my car, I saw that it was completely encased in a thick coating of shimmering, solid ice (that I would later chisel off).

So, I enjoyed a bit of a lazy morning and then drove the girls to school. I also had to drive to work (which I could get used to if it weren't so expensive to park for the day). When I got there T was outside, looking frazzled and told me that there was a very bad flood in the basement. K also was there. She accidentally came in early, which worked out really well. T asked her to go down to the basement and scoop up the water with a DUST PAN and put it into a bucket and then run the buckets upstairs and throw them in the gutter. Her poor little feet were soggy, shriveled (I'm assuming) ice pops by the time she was done. Then, this poor girl asked me if we had a plumbing issue or if it was just a flooding issue because of the rain. I thought that it was just the rain. So she wanted to use the bathroom and I didn't think that there was any problem with that.

Boy was I wrong!

And there was poop. And water. And a stinky green earth store.

She was likely embarrassed so she didn't tell me. I had to discover it the hard way (via scent) and then talk to her about it and deal with it... which was embarrassing for everyone. And I could tell that she was irritated because she asked if she should use it and I said yes (how was I to know)!

But worst yet, when I asked T what to do... he said that she should SCOOP everything out of the toilet so that the store doesn't smell. I sort of felt like this was my responsibility... but I COULDN'T. Even in my own home I do not deal with the poop. I mean, I am fine with the poop of my children because I grew my children in my body and I love them. If I did not grow you in my body and I do not love you, I am not okay with your poop. That's that. So, I had to tell this poor girl that she had to get buckets of her poopy toilet water out of our store. I thought that she was going to quit right then and there.

I went to Starbucks and bought her a candy bar, a cupcake and a large tea to ease her spirits and promised her that this was the worst of the worst and it would never be this bad at our store again.

When I got home I began making dinner. I wrapped a few potatoes in tin foil and put them in the oven to bake. As the oven was heating up I noticed a horrible smell was coming over my entire house. It smelled chemically, like burning plastic. I opened my stove and dark, thick, black smoke came pouring out. Immediately I felt like I was being poisoned. The smoke was coming from beneath the stove. I have no idea what the route of the smoke was, but I had to open up all of my doors and windows to let it out and I went to bed with a headache.

We ate pizza.

I am never using the stove again.

Ever.