When I Grow Up

I want to be Christina Hendricks.

I'm getting right on top of it too.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Let the transition begin.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

Lila rolled out of bed this morning requesting half a bagel topped with a scrambled egg and a piece of bacon.

I immediately got to work on making one for her and one for Bunny (though Bunny was still in bed and doubtfully would eat it even if she wasn't). Of course, I forgot to put the fan on and our fire alarm went crazy! A few minutes later there was another fully uniformed truck of firefighters at my home. It's was 6:45 in the morning!!!!!

This time we'll get a fine.

I don't understand. The bacon wasn't burning or anything. Neither was that London broil the last time that it happened.

I just don't get it.

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I must have seriously karmically pissed someone off somewhere. I might need to get right with God, or the like.

Between the bedbugs, the classroom nightmare, having no furniture, being completely broke and the fire department showing up and fining us... I've gotten two parking tickets in less than a 24 hour time period. Both times were for an expired meter. I got there within minutes of the meter expiring... but each time was too late.

I can't help but feel that I'm paying for something awful.

GabaBun

I took Bunny Kaitlyn for her pediatric depression evaluation at our holistic doctor.

I really do feel as though Kaitlyn has actual, chemical anxiety. I don't doubt that it's increased situationally, but I also think that there's something deep within her that makes her sad, anxious and horrifically self-loathing. I have never seen a six year old who is so hard on herself. This afternoon we were talking about how she has some stress because her pencil eraser at school is broken. I was like, "Ask Teacher T for a new one..." and she said that she doesn't want to because if she has an eraser than it's as if it's okay to make mistakes. I was like, "It IS okay to make mistakes. It's even GOOD to make them."

Anyway, our doctor suggested that I give Kaitlyn a chewable supplement called GABA, which is a natural anti-anxiety supplement. I have to say, I've found it really effective.

It treats the following:

• You often feel anxious for no reason.
• You sometimes feel “free-floating” anxiety.
• You frequently feel “edgy,” and it’s difficult to relax.
• You often feel a “knot” in your stomach.
• Falling asleep is sometimes difficult.
• It’s hard to turn your mind off when you want to relax.
• You occasionally experience feelings of panic for no reason.
• You often use alcohol or other sedatives to calm down.

Outside of the alcohol symptom, Kaitlyn experiences all of these. Today was the first day that I gave it to her before school and I totally saw a difference. She wasn't particularly cheery, but she didn't cry and she didn't seem super-stressed the way she often does in the morning.

Also, to boost serotonin, I bought a big chunk of real, actual chocolate from Whole Foods. I've been giving it to her sporadically with the hope that it will brighten her spirits. I mean, if it doesn't boost her serotonin, it should at least make her feel perky!

Up and Off the Floor

With hesitance, we've started putting new furniture in our house.

This is our new kitchen table. It's no match for the beautiful dining room set that my parents gave me for my birthday a few years back, but it's fine. It will do. I'm happy to have it so that we can give up the card table and folding chairs that have been functioning as our couch, homework and dinner tables.

Also, our bed frames came. Like I said, it will be awhile before we buy head and foot boards for them... but at the very least they are off the ground. In this picture the beds are totally stripped. Why? Because I wash our bedding EVERY SINGLE DAY. I spend so much time doing laundry that it's practically a full time job. I actually ruined Kaitlyn's comforter and need to buy her a new one today. I over washed it and it began falling apart. I wash each sheet, pillowcase, blanket and comforter and then dry them all for two 80 minute dryer cycles every day. Notice the little white bowl around the leg. Each of our beds has 4 of them. They are full of poison and once the bedbug crawls into it... they'll never crawl out. Mwah hahahahhahhaha...

So, on Saturday we'll be getting some furniture out of storage. I know that what is in the storage facility will work for us in some respect. We will make it.

The company who is disposing of our old furniture and our old belongings would like to do it on Friday night, but Jay's been getting some resistance from the condo association. You'd think that they'd want every contaminated piece of furniture out of there as soon as possible, but instead they're complaining about where they can park the truck? Bizarre.

Sister Wives (and my zillionth post for today...)

Okay, so outside of Big Love I don't know anything about polygamy. I do know one person in a poly-amorous relationship and I find her experiences totally fascinating. I keep hoping that she'll start a blog so that I can read all about it every morning as I drink my coffee (yes, I am that nosey). Generally, I tend to assume that everyone I meet is living their life in a similar way to me. I mean, obviously there are some differences like, I drive a car and you ride a bike. Or, I like vanilla but you like chocolate. I am a heartless moneygrubber with no social conscience republican* and you are a democrat. But other than those small differences, I sort of assume that my role as mother is just about the same as everyone else's. I assume the same thing about my role as wife. I know what to expect from my marriage because it meets a social norm and I assume that everyone else's marriage is the same as mine.

There's been a lot of buzz about the TLC show Sister Wives, which I've been following. I'm surprised by how many people are appalled and disgusted by the way this family is living. Also, I'm really not sure how polygamy is illegal. I mean, clearly these people are not legally married. Or, are they? I am under the impression that the law doesn't recognize any marriage but the mister's first marriage. Is this untrue? I mean, there are men who have five different mistresses and 17 children who are spread all over the country (just talk to any hair-metal-band lead vocalist from the 1990's). Is THAT illegal? As far as the safety of these children is concerned, they all seemed pretty happy and loved to me. Or, at least that's the way the show presented them. They seem well adjusted and normal. Far more than those bizarre Dugger kids. I don't really see what makes it worse than a dad who has been divorced several times and has a bunch of other kids with other women. If anything, this is much better because the home is happier and reflects a loving community. Who am I to say that the only right way to have a family is to have one mom and one dad living with only their biological children? America has broken homes and non-traditional families that are loving and healthy all over the place. And America has traditional families that are falling apart.

I do think that this is sexist. But, I don't think that it's my place to say that another person can't be treated as a commodity if they want to be. Or, more importantly, if they disagree and do not think that it's sexist for one man to have several different wives. It's not for me... but neither are a lot of things. Should they be illegal?

It's difficult for me to wrap my brain around my own husband sleeping with another woman. It's harder for me to imagine him falling in love with another woman. Actually, it's so hard that now that I've written it I'm angry with him and I will probably give him the cold shoulder when he gets home and force him to pack his own lunch for Thursday. But, just because these are my standards, doesn't mean that they'll work for everyone.

Watching the show Sister Wives really made me see the benefits to polygamy. Ha! Seriously, though. I sort of get it. I don't think that I could or would ever want to do it. But I can see how it would be helpful. I can also see how it would be maddening, saturated by jealousy and a total emotional rollercoster. After all, it's difficult enough to deal with the feelings of two people. How in the world is anyone able to deal with the feelings of 5 people?????

So, to close this out, if this family is breaking some sort of law, I think that's really stupid and primitive. It's probably time to update the laws.

*sorry if that's offensive, but I simply couldn't resist.

Food

I went to the doctor to talk about nutrition and my speculated gluten intolerance.

We talked a lot about my diet and my overall history with food and vegetarianism. Interestingly, she said that she was so happy to hear that I'm eating meat now. She said that she personally feels that vegetarian diets are unhealthy because many people consume and awful lot of crap in order to get as much protein as they need. She said that she'd rather see a person eating red meat on a regular basis than pastas and other carbs.

She hugely advocated low-carb diets and encouraged me to get the carbohydrates I eat from fruit and vegetables instead of grains. So basically my diet should be meat, fruit, veggies and dairy. No flours, grains or added sugar. This isn't really a stretch for me.

We touched on the quality of meat and other food that I eat, but didn't speak a lot about it because I already care a lot about eating organic food.

I think that it's interesting because it wasn't that long ago that most doctors would tell you that eating meat each day was terrible for your health and that a vegetarian diet was, by far, the healthiest thing that you could do for your body.

I need to make an appointment at Quest to have my blood work done.

Getting Back To Normal

We are working on making things normal again here.

We have bed frames coming today. They aren't fancy or fantastic. They're just metal frames. We need to recover from the financial hit of bed bugs before we invest in nice furniture again.

The exterminator suggested bringing furniture in a week after our extermination. This gives the bed bugs a chance to come out of hiding, drag themselves through the poison pesticides and die. Then, if anything remains or (eek!) hatches, he'll be back to exterminate everything again... and will come back as many times as it takes to solve the problem.

So, this Saturday we're going to our storage facility and getting out our belongings. Couches, chairs, tables, pots, pans, dishes... Phew.

I am nervous about it, but we can't go without furniture forever and we do need to make things more normal for our kids. This has been such a long road. Kaitlyn was crying as she went into school today and the counselor told me that she says that she doesn't want to leave me during the day because I'm so stressed out. I find this heartbreaking.

I've also found that I'm hiding from a lot of people. Everyone wants to talk bed bugs with me and when I engage in conversations about them I get so anxious and depressed that I can't focus on anything else. I just need to let all of the harmful carcinogens in my home do their job and move forward now.

By the way, I was bitten by a dog this morning. It ran right up to me, bit my hand and drew blood. It's not a big bite, but geesh. Wanna see? It was strange. The dog bit me. It ran towards me, jumped up, I put my hand out defensively and it bit... and the owner was sort of like, "Yeh, he doesn't like adults... only children. That's why you have to let him smell you first." I was thinking, smell me? He just bit my hand!!!!

It's not that big of a deal, just another bizarre note in my sour concerto.