About Me

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Concord, California, United States
I am a sometimes-writer, everyday mama, creative failure and experimental cook. I am interested in living a beautiful life, spending time with my family and making things that I can feel proud of. When I'm by myself I'm usually outside. Don't bother calling because chances are that I didn't bring my cell phone because I couldn't find it. If you see me walking, it's because I lost my keys and if you see me with only one child... I'm probably in big trouble.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sister Bunny Holler

Bunny has always been pretty serious about Jesus.

I can remember being young and thinking that most people were faking their faith.  I was skeptical at best and an Atheist on a bad day, bored in church and generally disbelieving.  As an adult I am still pretty uncertain about everything.  I just don't know what to believe and I don't ever pretend that I do.

Last night we had our last "First Holy Communion Meeting" of the year.  The girls received their first communion on May 5th and we needed to go over to the church, receive our certificates and eat some cake.

Religious education isn't something that I feel strongly about, but because we are in a Catholic school, the kids are getting a Catholic education.  Jay and I were both raised Catholic, so our families are both overjoyed, but we both dragged our feet on it.  I've been pleasantly surprised by the religious education at our church though.  All of the teachings have been based in kindness and love.  There has been no talk of Hell, punishment or of fearing the wrath of God.  Rather, it's about reflecting Jesus' love through kindness and joy and letting all of your actions encompass this love.  I can't see anything wrong with that!  Because we go to a Catholic School we've become part of the Catholic community and a lot of that happens at mass.  So, we do go to mass here and there, though my daughter would like to turn our visits into once or twice a week.

Before our meeting last night I was eating dinner with the kids.  Periodically I check in with them to see how they are feeling about religion.   Bunny has always been a believer, but Lila never has much to say.

Last night Lila said that she would believe it when she sees it.  She was like, "I just don't get it.  How can someone rise from the dead?  It doesn't make any sense.  I'm not saying that I don't think he was a person or something.  I just don't think anyone can rise from the dead. And if God made everything, who made God?"  That's sort of where I stand.  It's hard to suspend your disbelief, Lila.  I hear ya.  
But Bunny actually surprised me.  She said that she believes in God and specifically Jesus.  She said that she feels the love of Jesus all of the time and in everything that she does.  She said that she feels Jesus' presence and that he sometimes visits her in her dreams.  Her relationship with God seemed very personal and very real to me.

It was pretty clear to me that Bunny has true faith that doesn't come from school or church.  There's something inside of her that I don't quite get, but recognize as being very important.   Coming from our home, I don't see how she could feel so confident in this, yet she is.  I could see that it wasn't something that Bunny thought, instead it was something that she feels in her heart.  Bunny really "gets it."

Through the month of June the church is having evening bible study on Monday night and I have promised to take Bunny to them.  Also, she wants to go to bible school over the summer.  And I have agreed to start taking her to church EVERY Sunday.

Who knows, maybe we'll have a nun in the family.


  1. This is so interesting to read... I also struggle with "what to believe"... I feel like after reading this it needs to be that natural and something you feel in your heart. I think that is great Bunny feels that way. I have never felt that way and my parents took us to church on and off and we attended CCD for some time. It just got to the point that it wasn't for me and I stopped participating all together.

  2. Me too.

    When I was little I thought that the whole thing was on par with Santa. It was something that I was pretending to believe for my parents sake.

  3. I think it's so fascinating with faith takes a hold of children when they're young, especially when that faith is different or more pronounced than their family's beliefs and ideas.

    I remember always believing in the power of the earth and nature and goddess-centric religions. Even thought I was raised Catholic it never crossed my mind that there wasn't a goddess energy too.

    As an adult if anything I am a Unitarian but in our home and in my heart I will always recognize nature and the divine feminine and masculine.