First Day On a Raw Diet!

Today was a big success.

I suffered terribly from caffeine withdrawal yesterday and wound up with my head on the pillow by 6pm.  Luckily, I woke up feeling incredibly refreshed, and though I'm not 100% better, I am feeling wonderful in comparison to the way I felt yesterday.  Actually, I did 60 minutes of cardio at the gym this morning, which is my personal best.  In the past 5 days I've done 250 minutes and had resistance training 3 times.  Tonight, my head is still a little funky, but I hope to be back to myself by tomorrow.

I was shocked when I woke up this morning and ALREADY felt as though I had a few cups of coffee.  I just felt... awake.  Right away.  I didn't need an hour to a few minutes to wake up.  Is this what I've been missing for all these years?

I wanted to show a sample to my diet for the day, since I know that going raw can be a little bit scary and people often think of raw food as just salad.

My breakfast for the past few days has been a raw foods shake that my friend Amber gave me.

It's totally delicious and contains awesome stuff like hemp seed, gojiberry and flaxseed.  It's sweetened with Stevia.

I mix it with water instead of almond milk to keep the calories down.  One scoop has 90 calories, which is just about what I consumed in coffee each morning... so it evens out.

I had to eat lunch on the go, in the car.  Today was a huge errand day for us, so there wasn't time to make a proper lunch at home.

While doing our Whole Foods shopping, I picked up a banana, an apple and this raw pecan butter, which was more delicious than I can possibly explain in human words.

The pecan butter is really filling and it turned a mid-day snack into a satisfying meal that kept me happy until about 3pm, when I ate another banana.

For my dinner, I got creative.

I've been studying different raw foods recipes for the past few weeks and I think that I've got a few tricks up my sleeve.

Tonight I made a macadamia nut pesto using macadamia nuts, basil, garlic, EVOO, lemon juice, raw tahini and sea salt.

I tossed this pesto into raw kelp noodles, spinach leaves, mushrooms and cherry tomatoes and served a side of raw, unmarinated, spicy sauerkraut.

This dinner was pretty good and very filling.  I thought that I might have a few grapes for dessert, but didn't have room for them.

Hunger was my main concern while starting this cleanse, but I really am not hungry at all.  The nuts and seeds that I added to my diet made it easy to get the fat, calories and protein that I needed to have a healthy day and they really filled me up!

I wasn't sure how this would go... but I think I'm going to be able to make it through two weeks.

My Bucket List

You know, I've never made a bucket list.

I'm the type of person who thinks of loads of awesome things that I'd like to do, and then forgets shortly thereafter.  Maybe I'm just easily distracted and a little ADD.

Today, I'm going to pen a bucket list that I can defer to when I'm looking for an adventure or making a plan!

It includes things that I want to do and stuff like I'd like to have!  This is just a beginning...


1 Decide what I want to be when I grow up
2 Own a bakery
3 Learn to play the guitar
4 Buy a yellow house
5 Have an infinity pool
6 Live internationally with my family
7 Reach my goal weight and stay there forever
8 Get enough sleep most nights
9 Be addiction free
10 Spend time in India with my children
11 Write a cookbook
12 Learn to drive stick
13 and then buy an old VW Bus
14 Take my kids across the country in an RV
15 See all 50 states
16 See the Northern Lights
17 Make a good friend everywhere I live
18 Camp at Lake Tahoe
19 Work hard to nurture and preserve the close relationship that my children have
20 Get a spiraler for vegetables
21 Cover my bathroom in wallpaper that has little toilets on it
22 Like what I look like
23 Live on a commune
24 Be on a reality tv show
25 Find a religion
26 Make a crayon painting
27 Mosaic a wall in my yellow house
28 Teach my children charity
29 Get 200 minutes of exercise each week
30 Make it through a raw foods cleanse
31 Own a sail boat
32 Drive down the Florida Keys
33 Go back to St. Thomas for a week
34 See Hawaii
35 Own the things that we never buy but I always want- vacuum cleaner, iron, food processor etc..
36 Make every Paula Deen recipe
37 Handmake one Christmas gift for everyone I know
38 Have financial security and freedom
39 Go to my 20 year high school reunion
40 Foster a child
41 Learn to make really good almond milk
42 Grow my own food
43 Own chickens
44 Learn to make wine
45 Take  a bus trip up to Napa
46 Be able to take my parents on a vacation
47 Save enough money for my children to go to any college that they want to and never need a loan
48 Start sending Christmas cards and yearly updates
49 Find a pottery studio and go there often
50 Have a family portrait taken each year

36

I had such a nice birthday yesterday.  Believe it or not, I still haven't opened my presents yet.  The kids had school and Jay had to work last night, so we haven't all been together for me to open them.  They are all sitting on my kitchen table, taunting me.  I'll open them tonight after the girls finish their homework.  

Yesterday I woke up and enjoyed my last cup of caffeinated coffee EVER.  As of today, I am a woman who lives free of addiction (and who is also going through a groggy, tired faced withdrawal from caffeine.)   After bringing the girls to school I picked Jay up from the train and brought him home, and then I headed over to my gym and gave my workout 100% of me.  I knew that there would be cake and alcohol involved in my day, so I needed to kill a lot of calories before I put anything in my mouth.  

Soon after returning from the gym, Jay and I headed out to my favorite restaurant.  It's called The Moss Beach Distillery and is about an hour and a half away in Half Moon Bay.  The restaurant sits on a cliff above the ocean.  The food is excellent and the atmosphere is so serene.   Also, they make a mean Bloody Mary!  This is the first day date that Jay and I have had in ages.  While eating, we dreamed of living in Half Moon Bay someday.  It's south of San Francisco, on the peninsula and is just so beautiful.  There's something about the town that reminds me a bit of Cape Cod.  Half Moon Bay just feels like home to me.  Jay also loves it and so do the girls.  I think that we'll make it our final settling place in California.  I don't know when we'll settle down here because it looks like we may have a few huge, pending changes on the horizon... but when we are ready to buy a house and settle into life, Half Moon Bay is where I'd like to be. 

After driving home I took Jay to the train and went over to a friend's house for a birthday dinner.  She had picked the girls up from school and made me a vegan lasagna, salad, garlic bread and picked up vegan cupcakes.  It was the best time.  We chit chatted for hours while the kids played and dinner was just delicious.

As I get older, I find that it's more and more difficult to make good friends.  People without children often don't want to befriend people who have children and it's difficult to find other parents who you can get along with well.   I love California so much and have started to feel like I fit in here.  Despite my horrible social anxiety, I've made a couple really great friends.  And I know from experience, a couple really great friends is far more valuable than a hundred superficial friendships.  I'll take it any day!  

Yesterday I was overcome with optimism for the year to come.  I feel like things are getting better and better.  When I think about my life last year on my birthday- where I lived and how I managed my time and health, I am overcome by pride in how much happier I am now.  I guess that I have Twitter to thank for that.  Really, I guess that I have my husband to thank for that.  When we moved to California, everything else fell into place.  I can not even believe the changes that have happened in the past year.  It's amazing!  

2 more days till I start my raw food cleanse!  I am so excited!  I've been reading how to make pasta dishes out of spiraled raw zucchini!  

I didn't take many pictures yesterday.  But here are the few that I did take.  

Feeling Good

I am feeling pretty good!

 It's been about a month since I started working out in a gym regularly. In this month, I've only lost 5 lbs, but I'm feeling much stronger than I had been. I am also beginning to see a significant difference in my body and my overall perspective on health- both emotional and physical health.

 When I began working out a month ago, I was only doing 20 minutes of cardio and then maybe 10-15 minutes of weight training. Now, I am doing workouts that are generally 40-45 minutes of cardio and 20-30 minutes of weight training. All in all, I aim for at least 150 minutes of cardio per week and weight training at least 3 days a week. On a great week, I do 200 minutes of cardio and am on weights 5 days. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen.

For instance, today I dropped the girls at school, picked Jay up from the train, dropped him off at home and only had time for 40 minutes at the gym. I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes on the elliptical machine and then managed to squeeze in some ab work before scrambling home, showering and having to run to the school to celebrate Lila's birthday with her classmates.

 I've noticed that when I work out I am much hungrier than I am when I do not. I have been trying to keep my calories at about 1500, but on days when I work out they often go up to 1700 (and sometimes beyond). I'm really excited to start my raw vegan cleanse on 9/1. I hear that I'll have a lot more energy and much better workouts. I'll be sure to let you now how it goes.

 Here's a picture that I took this morning before heading to the gym. I am really starting to see some results!!!

Pink

Since I'm a fan of airing all of my dirty laundry in my blog, I have a confession. Until recently I've been able to hide the fact that I work out while listening to Pink's Greatest Hits album and it really keeps me focused and going.  Now I share an rdio account with Jay Holler and each week he posts the music that we listen to the most on Twitter.  As I work out more and more... Pink shows up with pretty embarrassing consistency. 

Here's the song that I listen to on repeat.  I imagine that most people in the gym are being motivated by techno beat, while I am losing myself to this...

The Death Cookbook

I've been thinking a lot about the meals that I make for my family- what they ask for repeatedly and what they'll remember me for someday.  

Everyone has those childhood foods that smell like  poetic wafts of comfort and nostalgia.  For me, it's my Dad's spaghetti and meatballs, which he promptly stopped making after he became friends with real Italian people.  So many things bring me back: the smell of a holiday turkey at 8 am, eggs and meat sizzling away for brunch on a snow day.  Blueberry muffins at Christmas.  Roast beef and popovers.  Huge batches of homemade soup.  Entenmann's Rasberry coffee cake.  Port wine cheese and crackers.  Food was such an important part of life growing up.  I come from a family that LOVES to eat (though my mom would probably promise you that she does not love to eat).  My dad is a pretty creative cook and was constantly trying out new ideas.  I'm pretty certain that he never uses a recipe, so most of our meals growing up were of his own creation.  Just like me! 

I started wishing that my dad had written a cookbook and wondered if my kids would feel the same way someday.

So, I asked Bunny and Lila if there are things that I make that they'd like to make for their own families someday.  At first they couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that the day will come that they do not live in the same house as me and may have to cook for themselves.  But then my children seemed to simultaneously remember that someday I'm going to die.  And they might need my recipes after I'm dead if they ever want to eat these things again.  And, by George, a miraculous outpouring of ideas came out of my children's mouths.  By my pending death, they were inspired to write the table of contents for my very own cookbook!

And so, together we formed a concept for "The Death Cookbook."  

I'm never going to publish this cookbook.  As a matter of fact, when I was taking note of everything I'll include in it, I was surprised by how many appetizers and sides my kids love, and how little "actual food" they requested.  

Here's what I'm thinking!  I've built a table of contents and have started to type out all of my recipes.  When all was said and done, I ended up with 50 family loved recipes.  My idea is that I'd like to get a huge drawing tablet and I'd like to take my time and hand write the recipes inside.  Instead of taking photographs, I'd like to illustrate it myself with colored pencil.  

Then, when I'm done (in like, 10 years) I'm going to have it laminated.  

Let's hope that my kids don't end up feuding someday, because I'm not making two of these!

Here's what I'm going to put in it! 

1. Methods of thickening soups, sauces and gravies

2 The universal appetizer tray- to please every pallet

3 Cheesy garlic bread

4 Pie crust

5 Pizza crust

6 Cinnamon bread

7 focaccia bread

8 Tortilla chips

9 Cranberry Sauce

10 Marinade for outdoor grilling

11 Hash browns

12 Taco dip

13 Butternut Squash

14 Scampi sauce for chicken, shrimp or veggies

15 Artichoke dip

16 Mashed potatoes

17 Sweet honey gravy for citrus stuffed chicken

18 Nacho cheese sauce

19 Asian grilled wings

20 A  perfect salad

21 Pasta salad

22 Cabbage soup

23 Butternut squash soup

24 Tomato soup

25 Chicken soup

26 Beef stew

27 Mac and cheese casserole

28 Citrus stuffed chicken

29 chicken parmesan

30 chicken pot pie

31 tomato sauce

32 meatballs

33 pot roast

34 roast beef

35 holiday turkey

36 Quiche 

37 French Toast

38 BBQ ribs

39 Chicken fingers

40 Lemon chicken

41 Apple pie

42 Blueberry pie

43 Caramel

44 Cheesecake

45 Chocolate dipped macaroons

46 Rice crispy treats

47 Kettle Corn

48 Fudge

49 Apple Crisp

50 Peach Cobbler

Awesome Post On Foodie Site

I am not really a joiner of online communities.  

I've activated and deactivated my Facebook account enough times to feel embarrassed by it (and to leave it deactivated). And I only have 1 toe in Twitter.  Truthfully, my toes would all be free and clear of Twitter if the company didn't keep the electricity pulsing through the veins of my house and if I wasn't sort of obsessed with Emily Maynard and Jef Holm's relationship- but anyway...

14 weeks ago, to the day, I joined an online community called Calorie Count.  At the time I wasn't losing weight, despite my low carb efforts, and I felt aware of not having a good grasp on my nutrition. Since that day, I have logged every bite of food that has gone into my body.  The site has taught me about being honest, feeling strong, working out, healthy portions and has ended my food guilt.  It has taught me how to stop dieting and stop allowing food to control me and it has really taught me how to eat in a way that makes me happy and healthy.  I have had many days when I said, "You know, I'm not going to care about how many calories I eat today.  I'm going to drink some beer and eat a burger..." but I still logged them.  I can not emphasize to you enough how logging the "poor food choices" that I've made has destroyed all of the shame I had around food.  And for me, that is a HUGE accomplishment and a battle won.  

There are a lot of aspects of Calorie Count that I didn't get involved in.  Each food that you log is given a nutrition grade and at the end of the day you are given a final grade.  You then have the option of publishing your food log publicly and writing a little something about your day.  At first, I'd always keep mine private.  I read through the experiences of the other members, but I never commented on their day, struggle or accomplishments.  As time went on and I felt more and more inspired by the community members, I decided to publish my own journals and food diaries.  

All I can say is that people are so amazing and I feel incredibly supported by the community there.  No one is ever hurtful.  People rally around the members who have had an off day or are riding a terrible plateau or a are struggling to eat enough or are struggling to maintain their weight.  People post inspiring things and Calorie Count has become my go-to when I want to read something that makes me feel good about myself.

Today, a member posted this and it has been resonating with me:

Here's to us. Here's to ordering a salad when you really want a burger. To making an ass out of ourselves in combat cardio class. To drinking more water than seems possible. To going 5 minutes more on the elliptical. To working out twice as much as your skinny roommate. To saying "Screw You to the old you. To falling in love with the you that you really are, the you that you want to become. To looking in the mirror and not seeing any change, throwing on your running shoes, and hitting the gym anyway. Here's to carrots, and shin splints, and sweat shirts, and perseverance, and sore muscles, and stinky socks, and 6am conditioning class, and falling down, and getting back up. And here?s to getting up tomorrow and doing it all again.