A New Challenge!

I am super-excited ya'll!  I have won two free weeks at a fitness boot camp called Push-ups to Pinups!  

If you've ever read my blog, you know that last year I lost about 70 pounds in under 6 months time.  Statistically, because of the quick rate of my weight loss, I am damned to regain these pounds (and 25 more) within two years time, and trust me, it's not my first time at the rodeo.  Call me Kirstie Alley.   

The good news, I have kept the 70 lbs that I lost off of my body for 8 months now.  

The bad news, I've gotten a little bit lazy.

I promised myself that after maintaining my weight for six months I would reevaluate my body and decide if I wanted to make any changes.  As planned, a couple of months ago I reevaluated and decided that I'd like to really tone up and lose about 20 more pounds.  Something really needs to click for me when making these changes and I just couldn't get in the right head-space to make it happen at that time.  Motivation was no where to be found.  In the past couple of months I have seen my work-outs become lazier and my diet become sloppier.  I am usually pretty shocked when I get on the scale and see that my weight hasn't fluctuated at all.  

And last week at 8:26.15 on Wednesday morning while the sky was overcast and the sun set low some point, I got back to harder workouts at the gym and someone triggered my motivation button and I began to feel excited about fitness again.

... so I went swimsuit shopping at the TJ Maxx (I can't bring myself to spend $100 on a swimsuit).  While shopping for a trusty tankini, I found a bikini that I LOVED.  And better yet, it was marked from $112 to $29.99.  And despite the fact that I couldn't bring myself to so much as leave the dressing room to look in the vanity mirrors, I swallowed the pill and bought the bikini.  

Isn't it just beautiful? 

The following day I learned that I won this mini-membership to the boot camp.  Because I need a huge change in my exercise routine, this could not have come at a better time.  I feel like I've been sitting at the bottom of a rut and someone just threw me a climbing rope to shimmy up.  

I have decided that beginning on Monday, I will begin both a diet and exercise boot camp.  My challenge will be to see how much I can transform my body in two weeks time.  I will eat 1500 calories per day, mostly in raw vegetables and lean proteins and go to the boot camp or the gym every, single day.  I will drink only water (buh-bye wine) and I will eat no grains (which I'm not supposed to anyway).  

My goal is to feel confident in my new bikini!  At the end of this two week period, I hope that my transformation is enough to post before and after pictures in it! 

Here is what I look like now.  This photograph was taken yesterday.  

I am going to rock this challenge.  

Appointment with the Doctor

I finally had my doctor's appointment in San Francisco yesterday.  It was such a relief to address the problems that I've been having, as they become more aggravated by the day.

Luckily, it seemed to him that my issues are pretty straight forward.  My previous doctor forwarded all of my past blood work and he was able to review that along with my history.  He ordered a pretty insane amount of new blood work, and I won't have the results until December 7th.  That said, it's his suspicion that I need an adjustment on my thyroid medication.  Also, a hormone test that I took back in 2007 indicated that I had some adrenal exhaustion that was never addressed.  It's very common to experience this with Hashimotos, I guess.  He did a simple test for it in his office that was pretty interesting.  He took my blood pressure sitting down.  And he took my blood pressure standing up.  A normal person's blood pressure will rise slightly when they stand.  Someone with an adrenal issue's blood pressure will dip slightly when they stand.  Mine went down 12 points!!!  This was enough of a dip to warrant a hardy reaction from him.  I don't why, but there's something really satisfying about seeing a doctor look a little bit thrown off by a test that they've given you.  On the other hand, the fact that my blood pressure went down is pretty bad, so I'm trying not to feel too satisfied by it.  My physical examination showed signs of anemia.  I didn't quite understand the problem, but it was something about my eyes.

We discussed my diet a bit and as suspected he believes that it's really important for me to be gluten free.  No more cheating.  No more fresh baked bread or grilled cheese sandwiches.  He didn't seem to think that I needed to go vegan.  Lean proteins are great and I should eat them.

One thing that he did mention was making some lifestyle changes in order to reduce my stress.  It's likely my stress level that has depleted my adrenal glands.  When he asked me what I do I told him I'm a stay at home mom, which has been my standard answer for the past 8 1/2 years.  My girls are in school all day, so most people think that I am a professional soap opera watcher.  He asked me to take him through a day in my life... so I did.  He said, "You said that you didn't have a job!  You have 3 jobs!!!!" And I suppose that's true.  I am stretched too thin all the time, to the point that at night I have no patience for my children and no love for my husband.  This is not a healthy way to live my life.   This week has been particularly bad.  I deal with stress by going to the gym.  I only go to the gym on days when the kids are in school.  If they aren't in school and I want to go, Jay has to be home.  He's usually asleep when he's home, so I'll get up at 5 or 6 in the morning and go for a 60 minute session or something easy like that.  When we were in Denver, I was able to go to the gym at the hotel the first day but I wasn't able to go the second day (I had been out until nearly 4 AM, and up by 7).  The following day Jay went back to work and he wasn't awake for me to go.  On Monday the kids didn't have school.  On Tuesday I went back to the gym.  On Wednesday I went, I had to be at the school to make pies with the third graders and was only able to stay for 1/2 an hour.  On Thursday I went but I got really stressed  by all the things that had to happen that day and about the state I had left my house in that morning (I hadn't even made the beds).  Jay was away on Buddy weekend and texted me about when they wanted to come back to the house.  And I just got really overwhelmed by what a mess it was, how I hadn't done my grocery shopping or even folded the mountains of clean laundry in my bedroom... and I had to leave the gym and deal with some of my real life stuff.  I got in 40 minutes on the elliptical and that was all.  Then,  yesterday I had to skip it because we left for San Francisco at 7 AM and when we got back to Concord, Jay had Buddy weekend and the girls were about to get out of school.  I had no real way of dealing with my stress.  I guess the worst thing to do is to become so stressed out and stretched thin that you can't make time for yourself in any respect.  Between my work for the school and the work I'm doing for my father and the general duties of a mom, I have these moments where I feel I'm going to snap.  I get totally overwhelmed and have trouble putting it all in order.  I also helped to organize a parent driven program at the school called Motor Perception and because I completely forgot about it this week, no volunteers showed up and it had to be canceled.  This was very embarrassing and upsetting.  I think that I need to buy one of those old school calendars to carry with me.  I really hate the idea of keeping a calendar electronically and I need a way to keep track of everything that I have going on.  It's too much to remember, particularly with the kids getting older, having their own lives and hobbies and activities and friends and play dates and parties and needing to keep track of all of their stuff as well.

I am going to start knitting again.  In order to take my stress down a notch I like to drink wine at night.  It really helps me.  I feel my whole body just melt into a state of relaxation when I have a glass of wine.  But alcohol  depletes that adrenals and I need to heal mine.  I feel like knitting would help a lot with this.

The Mathew's Wedding

We headed out to Denver last week.  Not only was it my dear friend Mathew's wedding, but it was also the first time that my girls were able to spend any true time with Matthew and Mathew or Siet and Jenny. After hearing so much about them for so many years, Bunny and Lila couldn't wait to get to know them.  Adding to the anticipation was the fact that the Mathew's asked Bunny and Lila to present the rings during their ceremony.  As part of the wedding party, Bunny and Lila felt like superstars (as seen through the lens of their photographer very soon, fo' sure).  Both of my girls are counting the days until we return to Denver for Christmas.  And this makes me really think that sometimes family isn't blood related.  The support that I've had from these friends, for 20+ years, really makes me feel grateful to them.  I don't know how to emphasize this emotion enough, so I have to state it simply.  I love my friends deeply.  Not only was I able to spend a good amount of time with Siet and Mathew, but I was also able to see my friend Talissa and my friend Jennifer and to catch up with my friend Brian, who I had lost touch with.  All over the boards, I returned home feeling like a million bucks!  I can not wait to return!

Enjoy a few pictures from our trip to Denver for Mathew's wedding!

Hashimotos Disease Really Sucks

For years I have had my hashimotos disease under control.

I was diagnosed with hashimotos the first year that we moved to Philadelphia.  It was a seriously tough year for me.  I was pretty overwhelmed by the city and petrified of driving in it (and we lived in center city).  The girls were still tiny and in order to go anywhere I needed to put them in the stroller and walk.  But I had become depressed and exhausted. My weight shot up and even walking  6 blocks to the park with the girls was completely exhausting.  I didn't have any friends to help pick my spirits up and that paired with fatigue and a tendency to eat emotionally caused terrible weight gain.

At some point I began working really hard to lose weight.  We got a treadmill and I started to make some big changes in my diet.  It was around this time that I went vegan for the first time.   After a few months of working very hard I decided to weigh myself.  I was shocked and horrified when I got on the scale and it said that I weighed 242 pounds.  I was at my mother's house (I didn't own my own scale at that time) and I fell apart.  My mom urged me to contact my doctor.  I had been using a natural doctor who had diagnosed me with mild hypothyroidism and had treated me with thyroid boosting supplements, rather than medication.  At that point we believed that we could turn my thyroid function around by giving it a little help, but it didn't work.

When I went into my doctor's office I put my head and in my hands and exploded into a giant, fat, depressed storm of tears.  I felt hopeless.  I felt 100% out of control of my body.  I felt scared and resigned to the fact that I could not change and my healthy efforts were in vain.  My doctor was certain that it was my thyroid and tests confirmed that I had developed an autoimmune disorder called Hashimotos Disease.

I began a fairly high dosage of medication.  And though I should be using a vegan, gluten free diet, I have never been able to entirely commit to it.

For the past 4 years my medication has helped me.  As soon as I began taking it my energy level returned to  normal, I stopped feeling depressed and within a year I was back down to a normal weight.     And the only time I remember how terrible I felt before I was diagnosed with Hashimotos is when I forget to take it for a series of days.

But lately, something isn't working for me.  I have started experiencing new symptoms of hashimotos that I didn't previously have.  First, my periods, which have always been relatively light, started coming very heavily.  And the breast tenderness that people all get right before their period was as bad as it was during pregnancy and lasts THE WHOLE MONTH!!!!!  And now, I am losing wild amounts of hair.  I can't even touch my hair without strands of it falling out.  I am losing handfuls of it every day.  I am also feeling fatigued.

At first I thought that I was having a hormone imbalance, but my good friend Amber also suffers from hashimotos and is quite a bit more knowledgeable than I am (I stopped learning about it when my medication worked for me), told me that my symptoms are all associated with hashimotos.  I haven't had my blood work checked since we moved to California and my old doctor has continued to refill my prescription  So, it's time for me to see someone new.  I am going to make an appointment with a  specialist in San Francisco this week.  Hopefully they can help me get to the bottom of this problem.

Also, I am going to make the switch to a vegan, gluten free diet.  I drag my heals on this.  Though I do love lots of vegan food and even like to cook it.  I don't want to eat it all of the time.  And I especially don't want to be gluten free.  I know that I have to and that the foods that I eat are likely causing inflammation that is exasperating my hashimotos disease.  I don't know why I can't seem to get my head in the game for this change.  I just have to do it.

And that's what is happening with me these days.  In other news, my workouts get harder and harder.  I'm still at the gym 6 days a week.  Each day I work out anywhere from 60 minutes (always straight cardio on these short days) to 2 1/2 hours.  One day I was even there for 3 hours (but I don't think that I'll ever do that again. lol).  I have also been working for my dad, proofreading and editing the documents for his consulting business.  Between my time at the gym, my room parent duties and my new job, I haven't had much time to blog.  I'm going to make a big effort to make it happen more though.

I hope that everyone is well!

Bingo Night

I am, like, INSANELY excited to go to bingo tonight.

Here's the thing, bingo and I go way back.

When I was in college I used to go to the Budd Lake Firehouse bingo every Sunday.  Never once did I win.  That said, the first time that I brought my friend Erik with me, he won over a thousand dollars.  And even though I didn't share in his profit, I couldn't help but feel that I had somehow won vicariously through him.

When I lived on the cruise ship I worked the cruise ship bingo (which is not as serious as Firehouse bingo).  Firehouse bingo is a room packed with the chain-smoking retirement crowd.  They are eating hot dogs, drinking pepsi and shouting "slow down" every five numbers called.  Cruise ship bingo is an all-ages event.  It's more about passing the time between lunch and dinner than it is about winning money.  Firehouse bingo is pretty much a religion.  Cruise ship bingo is just a good time.

Our school is hosting a bingo tonight.  There's a big group of ladies who are going and I'm going to kick their asses  join them.

I've been making such nice friends. I've never really lived in a place where my extreme social anxiety hasn't prevented me from becoming close with people.  I don't really get close with people very easily, and most of the friends that I have are people who have been in my life for years (like, 15+ years on most counts).  You sort of have to love me before you like me, I think.   I mean, since meeting Jay, I think that I have only made two new friends.  And then we moved to California, and though I had no plans to get to know anyone and no hope of fitting in, I've been consistently pleasantly surprised by how accepted and liked I feel.  I'm even meeting new people at the gym.  I actually have a friend who I go with Monday-Friday and she and I spend an hour (on the elliptical) chatting it up every day.  When you do that enough you really get to know someone.

But back to Bingo.  So, I'm going to this school bingo with a group of fantastic ladies and better still, the school offers free child care.  So, while I'm at the bingo, the girls will be hanging out with their friends.  It will be a social event for them as well.  Sort of a non-parent chaperoned party on a Friday night with elementary school kids.  What could be better than that?

All I can say is that I'm feeling lucky!

Fun Friday

I am going into Lila's class this afternoon to make this Halloween craft with the kids.  Every so often, her teacher will schedule a block of time during the day on Friday so that parents can come in and do something with the kids.  Last year Jay and I went in and read Bartholomew and the Oobleck and made Oobleck.  This year, I'm going in with another mom and we're making these pumpkins.

They are super easy to make and so so cute!

All you need to have is a pumpkin, black felt (cut into whatever shape that you want to use for your mouth) cheesecloth cut into strips that measure 2 yards in length, craft glue and googlie eyes.

First glue on the felt mouth.  Next, lightly dab glue (we are using cotton balls to do this) all over the pumpkin.  Next, wrap the cheesecloth around.  I find that it's easiest to bring the cheesecloth to the back and start in the center of it.  Then wrap both ends around the pumpkin.  Finally, glue on your eyes.

This end result is very cute.  It's easy enough for even toddlers to do and crafty enough for older kids.  They can cut their own cheesecloth and mouth shapes.

I think that the kids are really going to love this one!

If you are looking for THE BEST Halloween treat, I suggest mixing equal parts of candy corn, lightly salted peanuts and raisins.  

It's like, an explosion of unworldly deliciousness inside your mouth.  

MMmmmm... it's just so good.

I wish that I could pull it together to blog more lately.  I've just been really scattered and am having trouble bringing it back to center.

I've been having a lot of fun and I've been very active lately, but there have been too many schedule crazy days and not enough couch potato days for my tastes.  It's been company and friends and back to back parties.  I just haven't spent enough time in the kitchen, making fall stew and fresh bread.  In part, I think it's because the weather hasn't changed yet here.  Today it will be 102 degrees.  I long for those cool fall days...  I mean, I love California, but I do miss the way the trees change color and how nice it is to wear sweaters and jeans.  

I guess that it's probably good that I feel this way because it looks like we're moving to Dublin, Ireland after the school year ends.  I don't think that I've mentioned that in this blog before.  The possibility rose last April and for awhile it was only a possibility... just some talking.  But recently it's become something that is going to happen. It will only be for a year or two and when we come back to California, we hope to settle down, by a home, and stop moving.  I'm very excited to have the opportunity to live in Ireland for a bit and the kids are as well.  Jay, of course, is too.  The catch is that we are not going to bring our pets.  We are hoping to find people to watch them for the time when we are gone, and pay for them to be boarded there.  As we've been talking about going, the one thing that has made me feel a lot of anxiety have been the pets.  First, Sherbert can not fly, but my friend Siet has so sweetly agreed to let him live on her farm.  As for the others, the flight to Ireland is 13 hours and 50 minutes from San Francisco.  Both of my dogs are too big to ride up top and would have to be in the cargo hold. Once you add up the time that they'd get to the airport, be in flight and get through customs, they could be in their carriers for 20 hours.  This is too much.  and to have to do it 2 times in a couple of years... I think that everyone would be happier and safer staying in the states.  I love my pets and I don't feel comfortable risking their lives.  Sidney has seizures when she is very stressed and the thought of putting her through that makes me feel sick.  I know that leaving them behind is the right decision.  Though it breaks my heart to think of being separated from Sidney and I expect to have some very tearful days and nights because of it, I know that keeping her here is what is best and healthiest for her.  So, that's what I'm going to do.  

This week marks the beginning of pie season in our house.  Pie night will happen once a week (Friday night) until  Thanksgiving.  This week our friends Donna and Max are coming over to kick it off!  It's going to be a pie inspired evening and we're going to make savory pies and sweet pies... plus tons of sides!  I am really looking forward to it.  Pie night has been a really important tradition in our family, as important as Christmas and birthdays, as far as the kids are concerned.  It means a full day in the kitchen... tons of cooking and friends and celebrating.  It's the kickoff to our holiday season, I guess.  We usually pair it with the beginning of the show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, though this year we are starting a week before it premiers.  

Things are still going really well in the gym.  I feel like I should be grateful to some sort of higher power for giving me the gift of learning to love working out.  I have never liked to spend my time in a gym before, but now it's as comfortable for me as getting a good night of sleep is.  When I don't go, my body feels kind of off and really gross.  When I do go, I relax, sleep better, feel good and am happier.  It's the best feeling.  At 36 years old, I am healthier than I have ever been.  

On that note, I am pretty excited to say that I am thinking about going back to school.  I found an 18 month program for nutrition and am considering becoming a nutrition consultant.  I have always been somewhat obsessed with food.  It's so fascinating to me.  The more I learn about nutrition, the more I want to learn.  I can't get enough. I'm most interested in eating to treat/prevent illness and "food is medicine" is like doctrine to me. I'd really love to work in a holistic doctors office or with a midwife in order to help others eat for their bodies and optimal health.  I believe that I have found my calling.  It sure did take me awhile, but better late than never, I suppose!