Cabo San Lucas

We have decided to go to Cabo San Lucas for our upcoming 10 year wedding anniversary.

I feel like we've been speculating about our travel plans for this anniversary for at least a year.  First we thought that we'd go to Ireland, but after almost moving there and spending a week there in February, it didn't seem like such an exciting idea.

Then we thought Key West, but we've been there together before.  We considered Eugene, Oregon, which is one of our favorite places on earth, and we also thought about camping old school at Big Sur.  Jay and I used to love camping alone.  We still love camping, but when we used to go we had nothing but a tent, a candle and two pb&j's.  Now, we have kids and dogs, 43 blankets, every pillow we own, a camping grill, food for 14 days (even on an overnight trip), our own firewood, bottles of wine, 17 changes of clothes etc...

We have decided to go to Cabo San Lucas.  Jay really surprised me by booking the trip after a friend from our school told us that it was her favorite place on earth.

The trip feels a little bit extravagant to me, but as my husband reminded me, 10 years is a long time.

...and I can't help but allow the happiness in the longevity of my marriage be soured by thinking, especially when most people said that we wouldn't last one year.   I feel like such a negative Nelly even admitting it, but sometimes I really struggle to disassociate the beginning of my marriage from the lack of support and abundance of unkindness that I experienced at that time in my life.  

When I look back at the year I got married it is more of a sad time for me than a happy one.  Of course, this has nothing to do with my husband, and though I can only speak for myself, I love Jay more now than ever.  I really feel like he knows me (ugly parts and all) and loves and accepts me for who I am.  Every couple has their moments, but I feel fulfilled and supported by my marriage.  And I feel lucky and appreciative too.

Sometimes I wish that I could just erase the memories I have that keep a rain cloud over those early days of marriage and parenting.  I wish that I could just select to delete entire people from my past.

It's amazing how some people can hurt you so deeply that you still reflect on them sadly a decade later.

Big Night Out

I had hoped to have a fancy picture of Jay and I all dressed up for his holiday party last night, but unfortunately we never took one! In my fantasies it even had a Christmas tree in the background or a sprig of mistletoe!

We had a WONDERFUL time! The babysitter arrived 45 minutes early, so Jay and I decided to take advantage of the time alone and head out together for a drink and an appetizer! This was a great choice and we ended up at a little Turkish place that's a few blocks from our house. After, we headed over to the party and still arrived right on time! The party was at the Ritz Carlton and I got to meet coworkers and their wives/sigothers that I haven't met before. All in all, we had lots of laughs, the company was excellent and it was great to get out alone with my husband for awhile.

I've been realizing recently how special our relationship really is. This is especially true because when times are tough we get closer, rather than more distant. Everyone has tough times in their marriages, and we are certainly no exception. The strain of this year was hard on us... but I'm really beginning to understand that the love that we have for each other isn't common. I am blessed to experience it because not everyone does. Last night I was telling people how we met and how we knew within hours that we were meant to be. There's something magical about it. For me, it was even a spiritual thing. I met Jay and I just intuitively knew that he was someone who needed to be in my life. I'm not sure that he had the same thing happen in such a strong way... but he definitely knew that he was done looking for someone and that he could be with me forever. I don't know why it's taken me so long to truly appreciate this, but I need to learn to remind myself of how great our love is when I feel stressed out or annoyed or worn down with life.