For the past few years Facebook has had a monopoly on my free time. Connecting, rekindling, easy access to photographs and shared memories can be a dream to a woman who has moved around the globe, making great friends and falling away from many beloved people.
But as times goes on I feel these online relationships thinning out. Unless they root themselves in friendship, most relationships fall just shy of friendship but are often demanding and time consuming. Online debates or a political disagreement can leave you feeling defeated and wondering why you read a newsfeed. Or a compliment from an old high school buddy can make you feel kindred again, only to later realize that she voted for Bush or eats veal every Saturday night while smoking in front of her 2 year old and fiddling with the trigger of a loaded shotgun. And of course, you feel like you never even knew her until you realize that when you knew her... you didn't know her. Finally you realize that all of the time you have wasted worrying about high school friend #178 could have been spent talking to your husband about an issue he had at work or telling him about something interesting that you learned from an actual book that is made out of actual paper that you read with your actual eyes on your actual couch. Or you could be knitting or making a craft with your children or hiking on a mountain without any cell reception!
Today I decided to disable Facebook and delete the ap from both my iPad and iPhone. I did this hesitantly and with fear of losing some sort of relevance socially! But I remembered that the friends I have who are actually my friends will send emails and make phone calls and keep up with my blog. I won't have hours each day sucked away by conversations between people who I don't know or be adversely impacted by being friended by someone who I don't want to keep up with or unfriended by someone I really liked (true rejection heh)! I will have more time for my blog which is an outlet for something that I truly enjoy! WRITING!
What surprised me was that after disabling the account and deleting the aps I felt a sense of freedom. I feel bizarrely and unexpectedly liberated and I have to admit, it feels good! :)
