About Me

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Concord, California, United States
I am a sometimes-writer, everyday mama, creative failure and experimental cook. I am interested in living a beautiful life, spending time with my family and making things that I can feel proud of. When I'm by myself I'm usually outside. Don't bother calling because chances are that I didn't bring my cell phone because I couldn't find it. If you see me walking, it's because I lost my keys and if you see me with only one child... I'm probably in big trouble.

Monday, September 10, 2012

My life, these days.

I really don't have anything specific to post about, so I think that I'll just write about what my life is like these days.

I can hardly believe that we are going on the 4th week of school here in California.

This year, I'm the room parent for the 2nd graders and a lot of my days are filled with beginning of the year paperwork (like scheduling volunteers, planning a new forum for discussion, communicating with other parents and putting together our class directory).  I like this a lot because it makes me feel like I'm a "part" of something.  For most of my life I have longed for a good sense of community.  I've tried to find it in groups of friends and failed.  I've tried to find it in the communities that I've lived in and failed.  When we were living in Philly and I was working on South Street, I began to feel it then.  Now, here, in California, I feel it again.

California is a much different place than anywhere else that I've lived.  Things that used to be difficult for me (feeling like I fit in and making friends) is easy for me here.  I may have mentioned it before, but after a lifetime of feeling like the odd man out, the sore thumb and the black sheep, I find that most of the people who I encounter here, are a lot like me.  Not everyone, of course.  But most of my interactions with other people are pleasant.  I don't even feel out of place at the GYM, if you can believe that.  I feel like there's an honesty about people here that culturally doesn't exist on the east coast.  It's sort of like this: back east I was weighted by this feeling that so many people were trying to become something or trying to pretend that they were something they wanted to be or admired.  Here, it broadly feels like people are just being who they are.  And other people accept them for who they are without passing judgment.  This makes me able to relax. It makes me feel comfortable and confident and good about myself.  And it makes me less fearful socially.   So, almost 9 months after moving to Northern California, I don't want to leave.  I love it here!  I still drive around, shocked by how beautiful it is and feel so grateful to live in this amazing place.

I have two upcoming events that we are all super excited about.  On November 7th we are all flying out to Denver for my friend Mathew's wedding.  Even as I write that it feels trite, as Mathew is something of a soul mate and family member to me, and not just a good friend.  I can not wait to see him get married and am so grateful to be able to go to the wedding with Jay and the girls.  Each year Jay and I go out to Denver to visit Mathew and our friend (again, feels trite) Siet, but we never bring the girls.  This will be their first trip out to Denver with us.  Bunny and Lila are going through the moon with joy.  They have met Mathew before in Philadelphia, but they've never gotten to meet Siet or her wife Jenny. Siet and Jenny are like mystical princesses to the girls.  Even though they've never met, Siet and Jenny send care packages our way on a pretty consistent basis.  They have made the girls amazing consumes and purses and were the sole reason that we started our garden in the spring.  Siet had sent the seeds.  It's amazing, because my girls really idolize these women and love them so much, and I know that Siet and Jenny love Bunny and Lila back.

My relationships with Mathew and Siet make me feel so comforted because I may not have a sister anymore, but my relationships with them feel very much like sibling relationships to me.

For Christmas we are driving out to Colorado to have Christmas with Mathew and Matthew!  I feel like we are insane to do this, but when we considered not going it felt like a heart break!  So, over the river, through the woods and around the hills of the rocky mountains, Jay, myself, Bunny and Lila will head east, 20 hours, to Denver.  It would be great to fly, but a.) it's WAY too expensive at Christmas and b.) my girls still very much believe in Santa.  We need to bring all of those presents home with us!  We will leave on December 22nd and get there on the 23rd and we'll leave Denver on the 26th and get home on the 27th.  It's going to be so fun!  I am so excited by the idea of going somewhere cold for Christmas.  Possibly there will even be snow!  All of Matthew's family will be there, and I'm already planning gifts for everyone.  I also love to cook with Mathew and just know that we're going to put together the best Christmas dinner ever!

Bunny is already mourning the loss of Christmas with her uncle Christian though. We have had Christmas with our friend Christian since before Bunny was born and she is already getting upset by not seeing him this year.  I will have to make it extra special for her.

So, these are things on my mind, what my life is like and the things that I'm looking forward to.  I'm glad that I didn't just write about the raw gazpacho that my friend Amber made me for lunch today or the bread that I baked yesterday!

Everyone out there, have a great Monday!

1 comment:

  1. How exciting!! I love hearing about your days, even the gazpacho ones. :)