The Homestretch

I am wildly, emphatically, gleefully and eagerly counting down the hours to the last day of school, probably even more so than my children are.

Summer vacation, I can practically taste you.  And you are sweet like watermelon.

Here's what I want to do:  NOTHING for at least 2 weeks.

I want to live in my swimsuit and flip flops, read books and have lazy, lazy, lazy days by the pool.

I want to do so little, that by the end of August we are all bored out of our skulls and can't wait to get back to the chaos and over-scheduling that seems to pin us down every fall and hold us in place until the beginning of June.  I want to get some rest and recharge my batteries.

I want my kids to be outside, playing and using their imaginations and bodies.  I want them to live in their swimsuits and to get muddy and to come home at night feeling like they've adventured and had whole days with no where they had to be.  I want to ride bikes, camp, toast marshmallows and sit on the beach.  We are going to spend two weeks in Naples with my parents and I am really looking forward to being at a beach where you can swim.  The Gulf is as warm as bath water and you can be over your head and still see shells on the sand clearly.  Some people do not like Florida in the summer time, but I think that they are nuts!  I love it.

Lately, life has been work, work, work, drama with the kids, work, work, work, work.  I am rushing from one place and get there late, only to rush to my next place and arrive late.  I am WAY too busy for my own good.  This week was especially taxing and emotional because, out of nowhere, Lila began experiencing (what I can only describe as) separation anxiety.  She has not had this happen since pre-school, and even then it did not last more than a few days.  This entire week was drenched in tears, unfounded fear and anxiety for Lila.  I had to take her out of school one day, meet with her teacher over and over, see the pediatrician and meet with the principal of the school. Also, I needed to be present in the school for most of the day, a few times this week.  I had to take her out for lunch and sit with her at recess.

It had me wondering, am I doing more harm by being present?

But I'm glad that I did it.  When I would show up for lunch and recess I tried not to hover too much.  I just sort of sat there, so that Lila knew that I had kept my word and feel comforted by my presence, but I did not get involved with her conversations or games.  At first she was very clingy, but by Friday she couldn't have cared less that I was there.  So, I guess that I did the right thing on this particular occasion.

Being a parent can be so tricky.  My instinct was to swoop in, grab my daughter and tell the school that they should send her work home to me for the rest of the year and that I will do it there with her and turn it in.  But, I think doing that, in this case, would have taught her avoidance and escapism.  So, I knew that there must be a middle ground.  There must be a way to help her feel supported and comforted, while still teaching her to work through her anxiety and fear.  This time, this worked.  We got through the week.  I am hopeful that next week will be better and that the following week will be celebratory!  Then the school year is over.  7 more days!  It's the homestretch.

I can't help but wonder what amount of this anxiety is about the change of NOT moving?  Lila is almost 8 years old and this is the longest that we've lived in a house since she was 2.  This is the longest that she has been at one school.  This is the most relationship development that she's ever had with people outside of her family.  I know that a month or so ago I looked around my house and freaked out a little bit.  The yard needs more maintenance that we've given it.  We have an accumulation of "stuff" that we need to toss... like school papers and cards and the house needed a closet cleaning and reorganization.  My initial thought was, "we really need to move soon."  Because every year for the past 4 years we've moved before we even had the opportunity to completely unpack.  But this time we are not moving.  We are staying in our rental house until we are ready to buy a house of our own.  And we probably won't do that that until Twitter goes public.  So, it could be awhile.  For the first time ever, we are settling in.  And I am wondering if some of that adjustment will be uncomfortable in its unfamiliarity.

Bingo Night

I am, like, INSANELY excited to go to bingo tonight.

Here's the thing, bingo and I go way back.

When I was in college I used to go to the Budd Lake Firehouse bingo every Sunday.  Never once did I win.  That said, the first time that I brought my friend Erik with me, he won over a thousand dollars.  And even though I didn't share in his profit, I couldn't help but feel that I had somehow won vicariously through him.

When I lived on the cruise ship I worked the cruise ship bingo (which is not as serious as Firehouse bingo).  Firehouse bingo is a room packed with the chain-smoking retirement crowd.  They are eating hot dogs, drinking pepsi and shouting "slow down" every five numbers called.  Cruise ship bingo is an all-ages event.  It's more about passing the time between lunch and dinner than it is about winning money.  Firehouse bingo is pretty much a religion.  Cruise ship bingo is just a good time.

Our school is hosting a bingo tonight.  There's a big group of ladies who are going and I'm going to kick their asses  join them.

I've been making such nice friends. I've never really lived in a place where my extreme social anxiety hasn't prevented me from becoming close with people.  I don't really get close with people very easily, and most of the friends that I have are people who have been in my life for years (like, 15+ years on most counts).  You sort of have to love me before you like me, I think.   I mean, since meeting Jay, I think that I have only made two new friends.  And then we moved to California, and though I had no plans to get to know anyone and no hope of fitting in, I've been consistently pleasantly surprised by how accepted and liked I feel.  I'm even meeting new people at the gym.  I actually have a friend who I go with Monday-Friday and she and I spend an hour (on the elliptical) chatting it up every day.  When you do that enough you really get to know someone.

But back to Bingo.  So, I'm going to this school bingo with a group of fantastic ladies and better still, the school offers free child care.  So, while I'm at the bingo, the girls will be hanging out with their friends.  It will be a social event for them as well.  Sort of a non-parent chaperoned party on a Friday night with elementary school kids.  What could be better than that?

All I can say is that I'm feeling lucky!

Camping Trip

When we left Concord on Thursday it was in the 90's and likely nearing 100 degrees.  We pulled out of our driveway with our children, dogs, a million supplies and the air conditioning blasting.  At some point Jay looked at his phone and said, "According to this, it's only 67 degrees here."  We rolled the windows down and low and behold, the temperature in Santa Cruz was shockingly low.  When we got there, in the hottest part of the day, we were all a little bit chilly.  Jay hadn't even brought a sweatshirt and had to buy one at the KOA giftshop (I am just counting the moments until I can make it mine, as I do with all of his sweatshirts... mwahhahahah...).  I hadn't packed for the cool temperatures and so we had to layer.  I put on every shirt that I had brought (4 of them) and a sweatshirt (but I am always too cold) and I put the kids in sweatshirts till the sun went down... then I layered them in pi's.  

 This is our little camping site!  It was small, but not nearly as tiny as so many of the reviews said that it would be.  Luckily, we had nice neighbors on both sides and I found the campgrounds to be generally quiet (though, if you didn't have children I wouldn't recommend it because the Santa Cruz KOA is really a children's campground paradise.)

They have what they call the "beach zone" that has sand and a really nice playground.  It also has mini-golf, this jumpy thing that is a hybrid between a trampoline and a jump house, banana bike rentals and a huge climbing tree.  They also have an inside video arcade for kids there.  This was empty while we were camping, but I can see how it would be a lifesaver on a rainy day.

In the afternoon we headed over to the beach.  The water in Santa Cruz is warm enough to swim in, but not that day.  It was also very rough with waves (but probably good surfing).

We had to walk down around a million stairs to get to the beach.  The going down was fine, the up admittedly hurt a little bit.  I think it was hardest on Sidney, who is blind and feels the incline with her nose before she jumps up.  I can only imagine how confused she must have been.

 When we got back to the campground, the girls rented banana bikes and zipped around the campground.  Lila was especially difficult to keep up with.  We ended up walking a ton and and finding a great little dog park to unleash Groovy James and Sidney in.

We got back to the site and washed up for dinner.  I put appetizers out and used our new camping grill.  This is the first camping grill that I've ever had. In the old days when I camped I'd just bring cold food and that would be that.  This is the first time that I've ever brought food and supplies for actual meals in a huge cooler.

Funny story.  We forgot to pick up the leftover food from Sidney and Groovy's dinner and when Jay was coming back from the bathroom, late at night, he bumped into a skunk eating and drinking up the remaining food and water.

After dinner, Jay took the girls down the pool.  It was heated and pretty nice for being on a koa campground.  It was also heated and I think was far more comfortable than just being in your pi's.  I wish that I could have gone in, but no pets were allowed and I wanted to clean up after dinner.

 When everyone got back the fire was really going and the sun was coming down, so it was the perfect time for roasting marshmallows.

I don't know how cold it was in that tent but the night was not the most comfortable nights sleep that I've ever had.  I packed blankets for Concord weather, not for Santa Cruz and that was a mistake.  We all survived, and now we know... but... I have never been so glad to have Sidney and Groovy curled up under the covers, one pressed to my belly and the other pressed to my back.  Little heaters.

This is what we look like when we are standing on a beach and taking pictures of each other.

Dorkiest couple ever.

aRt

Concord is great.

There is a big movement towards children's art here in the east bay, which makes sense because this is such an inspired place!  It's hard not to want to make things when you are surrounded by beauty.

There is a small cottage near our school.  The sidewalk in front and yard are scattered with creative signage and colorful, staged, homey pieces of functional art.  It's called the aRt Cottage and you can read about it here!

Upon entering I had this feeling that I was standing in the coolest place ever.  The house hasn't been gutted and transformed into an open floor concept, as you might imagine a gallery to be.  Rather, it's still very much maintained its cottage appeal, offering small rooms that are minimally and artistically furnished, as something on display in a museum might be.  You have the feeling that a you are within the art when you are inside the cottage, and thus sort of feel that you are an actual part of the art... like a living character in a series of portraits.

Each room is beautiful, fun and really quite happy but not cluttered. There is just enough inside each room to understand the purpose of the room and little enough so that you don't feel someone is supposed to live there.

The backyard is small and otherworldly.  There are tree stumps with painted cushions and a large fire pit.

The aRt cottage caught my eye because I noticed a sign that said there would be children's art classes available there in June.  I went in and just fell totally in love with it.  My girls instantly felt comfortable there... so much so that Bunny suggested that we get a realtor and try to buy it.  To say it was a really  nice place to be, is not being fair.  I can't really explain why, but it just had a nice feeling about it.  It was definitely a place that I'd like to make a part of my children's lives.

So, I've signed them up for classes.  During the week of June 18th they'll go to 3 one hour sessions at the cottage and may even make a fairy garden.  The best part is that all materials are provided to them and it only costs $10 per session!!!!

Loving Life!

I talk a lot about how beautiful California is, but it's because I honestly can't believe how lucky I am to live here.  

Every day I drive my car around Concord and marvel at the amount of love I have for this place.  I sincerely just love this community.  Concord is beautiful with weather that beats San Francisco's by about 5000X in my opinion (keep in mind, I am a guilty sun worshipper)!  We are basically surrounded by mountains and every way you twist your  body you have a beautiful view of something!  This town has tons of character and plenty of cultural diversity.   The BART is less than two miles from our house and Jay's commute into work is under 45 minutes- none of which has to be driven!  And as far as families go, there is just a ton to do.  This weekend alone there is free swimming at our local pool and a family festival.  We have Water World and Pixie Land and fantastic parks and schools.  

The more we settle into the area, the more I feel at home and fall more deeply in love with it here.  I really look forward to living the rest of my life in this town.  

Here are a few pictures from track practice last night!  

Bunny, with her Larry Bird water bottle and torn up runners knees. 

The view from the track field!  And this pictures does not do it any justice.  Believe me!  

Lila, practicing her dance and cheer routine.

The 99 Cent Store

On the east coast we had dollar stores like the Dollar Tree.  Usually I'd go in there for things like paper plates that I needed for a birthday party or gift bags or paper towels.  When I was trying to get pregnant I stocked up on their ovulation predictors and pregnancy tests because they measure the same thing and worked just as well (and lets face it... I went through them like candy)!   Most merchandise at the Dollar Tree was made like, well, like it cost a dollar, I guess.  I picked up a few fun Halloween decorations there and I also picked up some festive Christmas decorations, but generally, it wasn't a place that I'd normally go for anything other than an odd or end.  I certainly wasn't using its shelves to decorate my home, that's fershure.

In California we have a 99 Cent Store.  This place blows my mind.  Okay, so it is full of the same old crap that the Dollar Tree had.  I am not going to make any claims that the overall quality is something really amazing, but they do tend to have name brands and you can buy things at the 99 Cent Store that you'd pay 3 dollars for at the grocery market.  They even sell produce and groceries (though, this sketches me out just a bit... I mean, WHY is that huge bundle of asparagus 99 cents?)

Today I totally scored this old, metal, vintage "your brain on drugs," sign, which I promptly came home and nailed up to my wall of crazy colors.  For the record, I did not purchase this because of what it says or because I think it's funny.  Last night when I was talking to my husband about it and asked if he liked it, he said, "Yeh.  I guess it's funny.  It has a cartoon chicken on it."   I found this disturbing to a place deep in my core.  I said, "I didn't buy it because of what it said.  I mean, you don't buy a T-SHIRT because of the writing on it."  At which point my husband had a hardy chuckle at my expense, claiming that most people DO, in fact, buy t-shirts based on their catchy slogans and not their color.

So, to set the record straight, this sign could have said a great many things that would not have mattered to me.  What mattered to me were the colors they chose, the effect of kitsch and the contrast of color.

Also, I grabbed jalapeño plants, sweet peppers, yellow squash and green squash plants for my garden!

It doesn't look like much right now, but I'll bet we'll have some awesome little peppers and veggies by the time summer is in full swing.

I found these bright flower prints and put them on the yellow walls in my bedroom. They're so sunny and happy!

And I found these prints and used them to make a succulent grid on the big, open space in my kitchen!

My point is that the 99 Cent store is full of awesome stuff and with a little imagination you can save a bundle while making fun, quirky decorations for my home!

Landscaping

I think that I've bragged enough for you to know how much I truly love our new home.  This is the quietest, prettiest, most established neighborhood that we've ever lived in and my heart sings every time I drive through it.  The houses are cute.  The neighbors are friendly (and normal, which is something of a novelty for us).  In every direction, I feel as if I could stretch my arm out and touch the mountains.  Sincerely, I just love it here.  Concord is definitely the place I love most in Northern California.  Even after flying in the other night, I felt myself really relax when I saw the "Walnut Creek/ Concord" sign from the highway.  

My own little house is landscaped in such a way that I seem to be surprised by something blooming every day.  When we moved in I thought that most things were dead, but at the advice of my favorite farmer Siet, I decided to hold off on plucking too many dead plants from the ground.  Now, what was brown and dead is alive and thriving.  

Most of our front yard is landscaped in rose bushes.  Please, if anyone knows how to care for and shape these, let me in on the secret.  Overnight they have become a little unruly!  

Look at this beautiful bouquet that I made for my table this morning!  

I used an assortment of flowers, including roses, daisies, tiger lilies and even lavender.  

I love the fact that Lila was able to go outside this morning, pick an orange from our tree and eat it.  Previously they were pretty sour and the first batch of juice I made was a disaster!  But, here we are in midApril and the orange are sweet as candy. 

This is the orange tree!  I don't know how tall it is.  My guess is 30 feet, but I'm terrible at discerning size.  We have this giant pole with a claw on the end that helps us reach and pick the oranges, otherwise we couldn't  reach any of them.  That said, it's pretty light and even the kids are able to manage it.  

Here's a little bit of the landscaping in our front yard!  It seems crazy to think that any of this seemed dead just a few weeks ago!

Our trellis has been rebuilt!  We are renting this house and the owner of it makes us never want to buy!  He has been a dream!!!!  We mentioned that we were thinking of having the trellis fixed and before we could blink he had someone here taring it down and building a better one.   I imagine hanging many beautiful baskets of plants out here this summer.  I'm actually sitting under it as I write this. The weather here is beautiful today!

I'm really excited to create a backyard oasis for the kids.  I'd really like to give them some sort of playhouse and a little pool too.  Nothing huge!  Just a way to pass the time on a summer evening . We have a pretty great outdoor fireplace and I imagine setting up a canopy close by with a chaise lounge, comfortable chair and coffee table beneath it.  I imagine Jay and I sitting outside, chit chatting in front of the fire with a bottle of wine on a summer night.  I imagine us grilling our meals and just spending 75% of our time outdoors.  Summer, where are you?  

I have said it before... but I love it here so much.    

Peach Tree

When we moved into our house in February this tree was completely bare and we were told it was a peach tree.  To me, it just looked like a sad, naked trunk that was adorned by many weak, spiky branches pointing upward.  This is not what I have imagined peach trees look like and I never expected it to become anything other than it was in the winter.

Then, in March something interesting happened.  It seemed like overnight this tree went from being completely bare to being covered in tiny, pretty pink and white flowers.  No sooner did it bloom that it lost all of the pretty little flowers and green leaves sprouted throughout the skinny tree.  But rather than appearing frail, suddenly my peach tree looks full of life and transformation.

Today, I noticed that there are little green and red berries that are about the size of large olives covering this tree.  I can't wait to watch it transform.  Will these grow into peaches?  I already feel so spoiled with an outdoor fire place, two lemon trees, orange tree, rose bushes, tiger lilies and fresh herbs everywhere.  Will I be so lucky as to be able to just pluck a peach from a tree in my backyard every time I need a little midday snack?

Landscaping

Our California house is pretty spectacular! The house itself is super-cute, but the real power lies in our yard. We have a gigantic Orange tree, two lemon trees, a peach tree, a peppermint patch, a huge rosemary bush, a lavender bush, roses and tigerlillies galore and those are just what I recognize!

What amazes me is that our lemon tree and orange tree produce gigantic fruit. It's the kind of gigantic that I'd see in a market and pass on because I'd assume it had been shot with meathead fruit steroids.

Check it out!

Lemons!

Oranges!

I really need to learn how to take care of our landscaping. I want the yard to look beautiful, which is hard because I tend to kill pretty much everything I touch. I have been struggling to grow an avocado tree for YEARS and have only gotten it to work once (which Sherbert immediately ruined by eating).

That said, I'm off to do a little weeding!

The move

It's been a long time since I blogged. So much has changed that the obligatory "catch up" blog where I talk your ear off about our new home and the holidays seems like an impossible undertaking. The very thought of rehashing my past six months is overwhelming and, well, just a little bit depressing. So, here's my catch up: Jay hated his job. He got a new job that is five billion times better than his old job in every way imaginable. And then we moved to California. And now we are all happy.

It was as if there was a HAPPY/SAD light switch that was flicked. It's no secret that I never felt at home on the east coast. I just never quite fit in. I kept trying to settle down, but my heart was always elsewhere. We were always planning our next move and each time we'd resign to plant roots I'd become restless and blue. At some point I decided, this must just be the way I am. A place can't make me happy or unhappy. I am responsible for my own feelings. So buck up. As it turns out, this wasn't the case at all. The tri-state was actually totally responsible for my unhappiness and California is my favorite place on earth. For the first time in my LIFE I feel like a fit in somewhere. It's more than the nice weather (I actually think it's warmer in New Jersey right now) or the friendly nature of the people around us or the fact that I am awestruck by the beauty of where I live every time I hop in the car and run to the market! I just feel at peace here. I feel like I am finally home.

So, I've decided to start blogging again. With my new life has come a new sense of purpose and adventure. Suddenly, I have a lot more to say!