5 Year Interviews. Take 2

5 Years ago, while living in Philadelphia, PA I interviewed my children about their lives.
Today I did the same thing.
And I'll do it again in 5 years!

5 Years ago: Lila



5 Years ago: Bunny



Today: Lila



Today: Bunny

A Little Mold (or not) On A Sunny Day- Day 14

Why in the world isn't this growing mold?

It has decomposed and gotten seriously and scarily nasty... but no mold has formed in my jar.

I could understand if I had a small fry from the Burger King inside, but two weeks ago we put organic produce and cheese under that lid.  Grow some mold already!

A Little Mold on a Sunny Day (Day 7)

Well, it definitely looks funky.  The romaine lettuce and the strawberries have all but disappeared and the contents are this jar have shrunk significantly, yet, still no mold.

A Little Mold On A Sunny Day (Day 4)

Shouldn't more be happening?  The only thing in here that isn't organic is the bread (white bread- hot dog bun).

A Little Mold On A Sunny Day- (Day 3)

A Little Mold on a Sunny Day (Day 2)

A Little Mold on a Sunny Day (day 1)

Today we attended the Young Author's Book Faire, where Lila Holler received a first place award for the book of poetry that she submitted to the contest.  At the Faire they had a Scholastic Book sale.  Bunny, in true form, bought a booked called Gross Science by Paul Beck.

This book is full of creepy, crawly, stomach turning experiments like creating a bacteria farm, balloons of stink, garbage smoothies, fake snot,  maggot roundups, slimy putty and a worm ranch!

It's pretty nasty.

We've only been home for a few minutes and Bunny is already pleading to make some stinky stuff.  Some things require a trip to the grocery store, but fortunately we have many of the ingredients that it takes to create several of the projects in our kitchen.  And oddly, I have never thought of them as projects, so much as things to avoid because they could likely poison us all.

But, that's just me...

Today, much to the delight of my 9 year old daughter, we grow mold!

Bunny filled a mason jar with strawberries, cheese, bread and lettuce.  Now we will take picture of it each day for two weeks, or until the whole entire thing is full of green and blue fuzz!

And lucky you, I'll be taking a picture every day so that you can see our progress!  :)

You're welcome.

aRt

Concord is great.

There is a big movement towards children's art here in the east bay, which makes sense because this is such an inspired place!  It's hard not to want to make things when you are surrounded by beauty.

There is a small cottage near our school.  The sidewalk in front and yard are scattered with creative signage and colorful, staged, homey pieces of functional art.  It's called the aRt Cottage and you can read about it here!

Upon entering I had this feeling that I was standing in the coolest place ever.  The house hasn't been gutted and transformed into an open floor concept, as you might imagine a gallery to be.  Rather, it's still very much maintained its cottage appeal, offering small rooms that are minimally and artistically furnished, as something on display in a museum might be.  You have the feeling that a you are within the art when you are inside the cottage, and thus sort of feel that you are an actual part of the art... like a living character in a series of portraits.

Each room is beautiful, fun and really quite happy but not cluttered. There is just enough inside each room to understand the purpose of the room and little enough so that you don't feel someone is supposed to live there.

The backyard is small and otherworldly.  There are tree stumps with painted cushions and a large fire pit.

The aRt cottage caught my eye because I noticed a sign that said there would be children's art classes available there in June.  I went in and just fell totally in love with it.  My girls instantly felt comfortable there... so much so that Bunny suggested that we get a realtor and try to buy it.  To say it was a really  nice place to be, is not being fair.  I can't really explain why, but it just had a nice feeling about it.  It was definitely a place that I'd like to make a part of my children's lives.

So, I've signed them up for classes.  During the week of June 18th they'll go to 3 one hour sessions at the cottage and may even make a fairy garden.  The best part is that all materials are provided to them and it only costs $10 per session!!!!

Le Conflict

I've always considered myself a feminist.  Back in my 20's, when I was less comfortable in my skin and constantly in a battle for my rights and my equality, I was loudly a feminist.  But, as I've gotten older and settled into life, become comfortable, made choices and learned to respect and tolerate the opposite choices of my friends and peers, I have started to speak instead of scream.  I've stopped labeling myself a feminist and started to just be who I am.  I used to use the word "feminist" to define myself.  And now I use other words too.  One of them happens to be mother.  And none of the words that I use pay my bills (feminism didn't either).

I imagine that many people from my past would be surprised to learn that I became a stay at home mom.  Some might even think that I would be miserable in this role.  After all, feminism is largely seen as a movement away from stay at home parenting and towards career.  Men had more choices and rights.  Now women, generally have as many choices and rights, so a failure to utilize this freedom must be an oppressive backlash to progress, right?

So, before I get to the heart of this post, I want to preface it with two questions.  1.) Is it wrong to feel as fulfilled by traditional career-parenting as you would be by a career outside of the home?  2.) Does gaining financial benefit from an action make you realize it to a greater degree?  For instance, if I enjoy writing and blog every day am I less of a writer than someone who is equally productive but is paid for it?

Now to the point:

I catch up with my friend Julia on the phone most mornings.  She's one of the most intelligent women I know and over the years we've seen each other through many twists and misadventures.  We are both currently mom's and stay-at-home parents.  Julia and I discuss a great many things.  We enjoy talking about the books we read, our husbands, crafting ideas, our writing and, of course, our children.   When I have a problem, Julia is one of the first people I go to and I often feel that she bounces interesting, thought-provoking conversation off of me, to which I am very grateful.  Our conversations are often conceptual, rather than being about day-to-day goings on.

Today, she expressed a distaste for an article she read in this months issue of Marie Claire.  It was in interview with Elizabeth Badinter about her new book called The conflict.

Elizabeth Badinter is a french feminist and probably a pretty smart (though in my opinion, ass-backwards)  firecracker.  The premise of her book is that women are crazy to give up economic independence and return to stay at home parenting.  The movement towards green parenting (breastfeeding, cloth diapering, homemade baby food, co-sleeping) is oppressive and will have harmful effects on families as a whole.  In a nutshell, she believes that women are giving up their identities as women and as PEOPLE by giving up their jobs and staying at home with their children.  The relationship between man and woman will be harmed and strained by the relationship between mother and child and the relationship between father and child will be strained because the dad will not have as much opportunity to be present for the child.  The child is also harmed because it has spent too much time being nurtured which is unhealthy toward the development of independence (as an attachment parent, this is ludicrous to me). When the children grow and women have a few free hours in front of them, they will be nothing because they have identified as only mother's.  They will not be able to get their careers back and their children will not need them as much (or worse!  WILL need them as much) and they will be barren of purpose in the world, unable to be true members of society.

I'd like to address this under the canopy of my experience.  I'm only one person and I am only responsible for and representing myself... but I also think that I'm a rather common person  and my experiences are reflective of a great many people.

Growing up, I was never driven towards a career.  I deeply valued relationships (somewhat passionately).  I loved socializing and participating in creative actives, but there was never truly anything that I wanted to be when I grew up.  I am a hard worker and everything I do is done 110% and to its full potential, so it isn't an issue of drive.  One thing that I have always loved is caring for people.  Naturally, it's what I do and what I'm good at.  I find great fulfillment in nurturing.  Though, I wouldn't say that parenting came easily or naturally to me, it was something that I embraced, worked at and continue to work hard for and feel incredibly fulfilled by.  I absolutely love spending my time ensuring the happiness of my children.  When they were little they slept in bed with me... right there between Jay and I.  I extended my breastfeeding with Bunny and did not with Lila and never felt pressured to do it or oppressed by either feeding method.  I used disposable diapers.  I didn't make my own baby food more than a few times.  I laid down with them to go to sleep and still do if they want me to.  I walk them through their homework.  I work with them on their projects.  I read to them.  I play with them.  I cook with them.  I craft with them.  I'm at field trips and I'm in the classroom and I'm at every event that I know is happening in the school.  I'm screaming my face off at sporting events, holding cold water and a healthy lunch.  I hold them when they cry and I celebrate their accomplishments.  I have watched them closely for 8 years and I have been pushed to my limit and grown and struggled and worked HARD for my children.  I am proud to say that I am a good mother.  I'm not going to be insane and suggest that in order to be a good mother you have to do what I am doing.  I am saying that I am doing what I am doing and I know that it works for myself and my family and I am proud of the work I do.  

The choices that I have made were not obligatory.  I might be a cookie cutter stay at home mom, but I am truly doing what comes naturally and feels good to me.  And I love my life.

What feels restrictive and oppressive to me is the claim that I am not doing enough.  I feel squashed by the assertion that my role in the world is not important enough and that I am only a mother because I don't have a job.  Last year, I got a job because I needed to have one.  I worked hard.  I believed in my job.  I loved the people who I worked with.  I worked hard, before, during and after work.  But my heart was with my children and I eventually stopped working because I wasn't able to do what I loved to the extent that I wanted to when I was working.

It is true that I am a mother.  I am also a writer.  I am an artist.  I am a gardener.  I am a wife.  I am a friend.  I am a crafter.  I am a baker.  I am an adventure seeker.  I am an advice giver.  I am a listener.  I am an event planner.  I am many things and though being a mother is probably the most rewarding, it does not define me.  If I had to call myself anything, it would be "a work in progress."

Great Lunch

We're having a little heat wave in Concord.  As I type, the girls are wearing bikini's and gobbling their lunch up in the back yard.

I just made them the greatest steamy day meal and they are out there pleased as can be.  A cold pasta salad is so much nicer than a pb&j on a hot day.








I used about a quarter of a box of pasta- el dente and put on ice to chill.
I added one large peeled and cut cucumber.
Cherry tomatoes
chilled asparagus
purple onion
chopped carrot
a dozen or so black olives
and
chopped celery

Then, I mixed 1 part olive oil with two parts apple cider vinegar- a tsp of salt, a 1/2 tsp of garlic, a1/2  tsp of onion powder, 1 tsp dried oregano, 1/2 tsp black pepper, 1 tsp Italian seasonings  I ate a bit of the veggies and dressing before adding the pasta and it was DELICIOUS.

If Bunny wasn't allergic to casein, this would have been great with a bit of feta cheese on top.  And, if you are a pork eater, you could add a bit of ham to this in order to make it a dinner.

I served this salad with a whole wheat roll and a bit of Earth's Balance spread on top.

Friday After School

It's hard to believe that it was only a year ago when my girls were playing in the fire hydrants of south Philly with the other neighborhood kids.  So much has changed.

They are enjoying the freedom of Friday afternoon.  No homework.  Nowhere to go and nothing that has to get done.  With week schedules that are jam packed with too much action, one afternoon of free play is necessary.

Because we don't have my dream backyard just yet, the girls are making the best of our garden hose!

 

And they aren't the only Holler's who love the sunshine!  Groovy James is quite the sunbather himself!  I may need to invest in a bet of doggy sunscreen!  

Loving Life!

I talk a lot about how beautiful California is, but it's because I honestly can't believe how lucky I am to live here.  

Every day I drive my car around Concord and marvel at the amount of love I have for this place.  I sincerely just love this community.  Concord is beautiful with weather that beats San Francisco's by about 5000X in my opinion (keep in mind, I am a guilty sun worshipper)!  We are basically surrounded by mountains and every way you twist your  body you have a beautiful view of something!  This town has tons of character and plenty of cultural diversity.   The BART is less than two miles from our house and Jay's commute into work is under 45 minutes- none of which has to be driven!  And as far as families go, there is just a ton to do.  This weekend alone there is free swimming at our local pool and a family festival.  We have Water World and Pixie Land and fantastic parks and schools.  

The more we settle into the area, the more I feel at home and fall more deeply in love with it here.  I really look forward to living the rest of my life in this town.  

Here are a few pictures from track practice last night!  

Bunny, with her Larry Bird water bottle and torn up runners knees. 

The view from the track field!  And this pictures does not do it any justice.  Believe me!  

Lila, practicing her dance and cheer routine.

Your Daily Lila (In Spanish)

My bilingual performer.

Lila Singing (In SPANISH)

Lila loves Spanish.

We were in bed tonight and I managed to record her singing one of her school songs.

Picture of The Day

We had such a crazy day yesterday.

The girls didn't have school, I had a doctors appointment AND work and we weren't able to dig our car out of the snow (which turned out to be a blessing because most of the roads we needed to travel hadn't been plowed and had absolutely no parking available.)

After work, I promised Bunny that we'd get her ears pierced. It was snowing again and we decided to walk to the mall anyway. On our way, we cam across these humongous snowmen and we took a few minutes to stop and climb all over them!

Then, Bunny had her big moment! She was petrified but determined to do it. This is the second time that we've gone to have her ears pierced. Last time she sat in the chair and then suddenly changed her mind so we left. She's really been agonizing about it since. Finally, she did it.

I really didn't want to have Bunny's ears pierced with a gun. I have read a lot about it and wanted her to have them pierced with a needle. Unfortunately, it's illegal to take a child that is Bunny's age into a piercing salon in PA, so we were really limited and had to go the gun route. Not even the pediatrician pierces any more. We'll just keep them clean and hope for the best.

She is so happy!!!!

Dirty, Guilty Secret Pleasure

You probably know how much I love Sangria. After all, if I'm not drinking it, I'm planning to drink it. And if I don't have it in my plans, you can usually bet that I have the flu or I'm "watching my carbs."

Recently, I discovered the BEST Sangria recipe ever. I had never made it with Triple Sec or Brandy before and have to admit that I worried that spiking my alcohol with hard alcohol seemed alcoholic like a bad idea and screamed REALLY BAD HANGOVER to me. In the end, it was just fruity, perfect, light and delicious. If you're a Sangria lover, give that recipe ago!

There is just something about a lovely, big, fruit filled glass of Sangria. It's like juice for grown-ups. OR it's like wine if wine went on a vacation to Spain and traded in it's Christian Lacroix's for a pair of platform flilpflops made by Jessica Simpson.

Agreed?

Here is what only the closest people to me (and the guy who works at the South Street Wine and Spirits store) knows about me. Franzia makes Sangria IN A BOX and it's the most delicious beverage in the whole, entire world. Generally, I'm too embarrassed to buy my wine in a box so I make Jay do it, but he's away on a Buddy weekend and today is Saturday. I wanted to run my errands, come home, cook and cook and cook and clean my house from top to bottom and then relax with a glass of Sangria. I could spend $60 and make my own, OR I could spend $12.99 and have a box of it in my fridge for awhile.

It's so good.

On a completely separate note:

the girls and I were out to brunch with M this morning and our waitress looked at my children, looked at me and said, "Are you twins? Is this your Aunt?"

It's weird having children who do not look anything like you. Bunny looks more and more like Jay as she gets older and Lila looks just like my sister.