Pushups 2 Pin ups Boot camp- Day 1

Today I sweat sugar, as they say at Push Ups 2 Pin Ups.

I did it!

This morning I rolled out of bed and instead of heading to my gym to do my standard workout, I begrudgingly fearfully excitedly rolled on over to Concord's local boot camp for women.

When I say that I was scared, I mean that I had to talk myself into going over and over and over and over and over until the moment the doors opened and I walked inside with about a dozen other women.  I hushed the voices that said, "you're tired today, just start on Wednesday.  Don't worry about it.  You know you'll do it eventually, when you're ready.  What's one day? It's going to be so hard.  You'll be the worst one there.  You won't be able to keep up."    I just bit the bullet and I started moving.

I am so proud of myself.

And I was totally the worst one there, but I didn't care and I don't think that anyone else did either.

Even though I work out every day, I'm just not fit.  I work out for lots of reasons, my number one reason being to relieve stress and work through emotions.  I'm not really one to push myself.  Though, I do workout hard from time to time, I usually stay within my comfort zone.

Today, I was so far out of my comfort zone that I forgot it even existed.  I was presented with the hardest workout that I've ever had, and though I had to modify some aspects of it to my own fitness level, I stuck it out and my body feels like jelly.

Again, I am so proud of myself.

The trainer LaTasha, was A-MAZ-ING.  She was the perfect combination of caring and unforgiving.  I felt motivated, understood and inspired the whole time I was there, and I am really excited to return.  I am really excited to push myself.  And I am really excited to get in the best shape of my life.

Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment, so I am just going to go back to my gym afterward and try to get in a nice strengthening workout, but on Wednesday I am back to Pushups 2 Pinups for my second boot camp.

As I wrote previously, this is a bikini boot camp for me.  I am pairing these difficult workouts with a very clean and healthy diet for the next two weeks.

After my shower today, I put on my first bikini ever and took my "before" pictures.  Friends, this was a really difficult task for me. I have anxiety just thinking about them.  I even considered posting them now so that they don't haunt me like some sort of dirty secret, but I think that I'll wait until the end of the two weeks so that I can post them with the confidence that I have improved.

My friend Amber texted me this yesterday and I've been thinking about it ever since.  It's really resonating with me, making me feel strong and capable- which all I ever really want to be.  :)

I feel like today was a turning point for me.  Something really good is about to happen.

Feeling Good

I am feeling pretty good!

 It's been about a month since I started working out in a gym regularly. In this month, I've only lost 5 lbs, but I'm feeling much stronger than I had been. I am also beginning to see a significant difference in my body and my overall perspective on health- both emotional and physical health.

 When I began working out a month ago, I was only doing 20 minutes of cardio and then maybe 10-15 minutes of weight training. Now, I am doing workouts that are generally 40-45 minutes of cardio and 20-30 minutes of weight training. All in all, I aim for at least 150 minutes of cardio per week and weight training at least 3 days a week. On a great week, I do 200 minutes of cardio and am on weights 5 days. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen.

For instance, today I dropped the girls at school, picked Jay up from the train, dropped him off at home and only had time for 40 minutes at the gym. I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes on the elliptical machine and then managed to squeeze in some ab work before scrambling home, showering and having to run to the school to celebrate Lila's birthday with her classmates.

 I've noticed that when I work out I am much hungrier than I am when I do not. I have been trying to keep my calories at about 1500, but on days when I work out they often go up to 1700 (and sometimes beyond). I'm really excited to start my raw vegan cleanse on 9/1. I hear that I'll have a lot more energy and much better workouts. I'll be sure to let you now how it goes.

 Here's a picture that I took this morning before heading to the gym. I am really starting to see some results!!!

Awesome Post On Foodie Site

I am not really a joiner of online communities.  

I've activated and deactivated my Facebook account enough times to feel embarrassed by it (and to leave it deactivated). And I only have 1 toe in Twitter.  Truthfully, my toes would all be free and clear of Twitter if the company didn't keep the electricity pulsing through the veins of my house and if I wasn't sort of obsessed with Emily Maynard and Jef Holm's relationship- but anyway...

14 weeks ago, to the day, I joined an online community called Calorie Count.  At the time I wasn't losing weight, despite my low carb efforts, and I felt aware of not having a good grasp on my nutrition. Since that day, I have logged every bite of food that has gone into my body.  The site has taught me about being honest, feeling strong, working out, healthy portions and has ended my food guilt.  It has taught me how to stop dieting and stop allowing food to control me and it has really taught me how to eat in a way that makes me happy and healthy.  I have had many days when I said, "You know, I'm not going to care about how many calories I eat today.  I'm going to drink some beer and eat a burger..." but I still logged them.  I can not emphasize to you enough how logging the "poor food choices" that I've made has destroyed all of the shame I had around food.  And for me, that is a HUGE accomplishment and a battle won.  

There are a lot of aspects of Calorie Count that I didn't get involved in.  Each food that you log is given a nutrition grade and at the end of the day you are given a final grade.  You then have the option of publishing your food log publicly and writing a little something about your day.  At first, I'd always keep mine private.  I read through the experiences of the other members, but I never commented on their day, struggle or accomplishments.  As time went on and I felt more and more inspired by the community members, I decided to publish my own journals and food diaries.  

All I can say is that people are so amazing and I feel incredibly supported by the community there.  No one is ever hurtful.  People rally around the members who have had an off day or are riding a terrible plateau or a are struggling to eat enough or are struggling to maintain their weight.  People post inspiring things and Calorie Count has become my go-to when I want to read something that makes me feel good about myself.

Today, a member posted this and it has been resonating with me:

Here's to us. Here's to ordering a salad when you really want a burger. To making an ass out of ourselves in combat cardio class. To drinking more water than seems possible. To going 5 minutes more on the elliptical. To working out twice as much as your skinny roommate. To saying "Screw You to the old you. To falling in love with the you that you really are, the you that you want to become. To looking in the mirror and not seeing any change, throwing on your running shoes, and hitting the gym anyway. Here's to carrots, and shin splints, and sweat shirts, and perseverance, and sore muscles, and stinky socks, and 6am conditioning class, and falling down, and getting back up. And here?s to getting up tomorrow and doing it all again.